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September 30th, 2007

MUSINGS: “If I Had to survive a horror scenario…”

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If you had to experience any type of horror scenario- shark attacks while you’re on a sinking boat, being pursued by a slasher, fighting werewolves, becoming a vampire, etc–which would you choose. My answer will come as no surprise to anyone.

I would want a Zombie Apocalypse. Yes, I would want zombies to begin crawling out of the ground. Yes, I would want to have to fight them. Yes, I would want to unite with good friends and start our own castle-like settlement wherien we live off the land and go on raiding missions to fallen towns. If I had to live a horror scenario, I’d take Zombies all the way. Not vampires, not werewolves, not Frankenstein, or any other varied boogeyman. Zombies all the way.

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How bout you?

September 28th, 2007

Movie REview: The Brotherhood of the Wolf

Grace, Peace, and Thanks to you all. I found another “objective review” from college, and I thought I should put it into the mix. Like any of these older reviews I put up, I have done some editing but the content is intact. Enjoy!

The Brotherhood of the Wolf is unlike anything else I have ever seen. It’s an intense blending of genres that follows 18th century Renaissance man, Sir Gregoire de Fronsac and his Native American companion, Mani, on a quest to capture and study a beast ravaging the French countryside.

I have more contrasting and peculiar views on this film then perhaps on any other motion picture in my collection. I must love it, for I was willing to shell out 30-some dollars for a Special Canadian Import of it. The movie is, well, an entity unto itself, demanding analysis that I am completely unequipped to provide it. Why? Well, frankly, it’s a French film, and I don’t understand French cinema. I mean, c’mon, I barely have a working knowledge of American cinema. That being said, my review is going to be less full and, in my opinion, less valid than reviews of many of my other films.

brotherhoodwolf.jpgLike all good adventure films, Brotherhood blends a variety of dramatic devices and genres to become an engaging and dynamic motion picture, which I believe will last for many years to come (at least in France, if no where else). I am going to begin this review with criticisms of the film, move into its narrative strengths, and end with a few extra comments on other aspects of the film on which one may want to focus specific attention.

One complaint that one might have is that the story includes too many characters. With this criticism, I wholeheartedly empathize but do not wholly agree. Yes, I feel the film overwhelms itself with entirely too many characters, six of which are considered primary. While I do believe this will confuse and frustrate a viewer upon a first viewing of the picture, I also find the scope of characters fascinating and rich. I have seen the film in its entirety four times now, so I am familiar with all the characters, and I could probably name off a dozen or so without pausing—but that came from 3 viewings of the original theatrical cut, 1 viewing of the director’s cut, hours of investment in film reviews and the discs special features. So, if the amount of characters frustrates you, have no fear; I identify, and in part, agree with you.

This film is terribly flawed, however, in one major area. French or not, the nudity in this piece is so gratuitous its shameful. When it comes to American History X or even Roadhouse, I won’t apologize for the filmmakers use of nudity or sex; but here I AM DRAWING MY LINE. This is not because I feel nudity in film is inherently wrong; it’s because the nudity in THIS film is wrong, all wrong, for one simple reason.

First and foremost, it’s unnecessary. We have no need to see uncovered chests in the brothel; we know the score; we know how that goes; we get the picture. In these scenes, the random displays of extras’ chests are so distracting and pointless that the shots seem twice as long as they should. “BUT CJ”, some may say “YOU GET TO SEE MONICA BELLUCCI. DOES THAT NOT APPEASE YOU?” To you dirts, I have one reply.

Absolutely not.  Granted, had she been the only one we see nude, I would be singing a much different tune, not because of HER but because the nudity and disclosure would have set her apart from the other women in the brothel, who we would have only get to see covered. THAT artistic choice I would have tolerated, even defended with a blood-stained sword. BUT, no, showing me her skin just to satisfy carnality means nothing…except more criticism.

The nature of Bellucci’s character, SYLVIA, should have demanded a better treatment of her sexuality. SYLVIA is a mysterious and fascinating character in the film; but we see her and other women in the basic same way, as whores. SYLVIA’s character is much more important to the story than that, and her character should have been treated with more respect than elaborate costumes, a cool weapon, and some mysterious dialogue. Bellucci’s sole nudity would have set her apart from the other whores in the movie, in that we get to “know” more of her than any of the others. This is not an excuse to see her naked; this is a logical argument that her nudity could have been more meaningful and beautiful had the filmmakers thought with the mind in the upper half of their body.

My one exception to this sweeping criticism of the films treatment of nudity is the transition involving Ms. Bellucci’s body and snowy mountain tops. I am well aware of the analogy of a woman’s breasts being like mountains, and the transition it inspires midway through the film is worth some thought. I do not believe that the transition is lustful; rather, I feel it expresses a sense of awe in the female body, not Ms. Bellucci’s in particular, but the shape of the female form itself. The transition, at least to me, suggests, that a woman’s shape is as grand, breathtaking, and captivating as any serine hillside or majesty in nature. Though I think this shot is unearned given the film’s previous failures with the fragile subject of nudity, I have to admit that the transition is beautiful and communicates to me a genuine respect for the female body on behalf of the filmmakers. It’s disappointing that this reverence is not also manifested elsewhere in the motion picture.

Let’s move on to the movie’s strengths as an adventure film.

First, this movie satisfies the criteria of good horror. Time-and-time again, the movie creates a sense of fear in its audience. The filmmakers load the tale with plenty of the gory details, chases, and monster-attacks that have given horror films their identity. The movie adheres to the genre’s conventions of letting helpless women fall victim to an attacker who endures substantial abuse by conventional weapons. In some ways, the film makes the aged-old devices fresh, interesting, and terrifying

But Brotherhood’s true strength is that it refuses to be restricted to its horror elements and also becomes a kinetic martial-arts action film. Now, contrary to popular (and I believe, unwarranted) opinion, the action in the movie is not The Matrix in 18th century. This movie utilizes marital arts techniques that have been used for decades. The fight scenes it creates are not “battle-ballets” of wire work and 100s of effortless blocks and kicks per minute. No, the action of Brotherhood is well-choreographed, full-contact, dirty, no-holds-barred brawling. When someone gets hit; they get hurt. People actually get cut with sharp objects (unlike persons in The Matrix Reloaded). Women who fight get hit just like the men. People lose limbs. People bleed from more than the corner of their lip. THIS IS ACTION, fighting with real pain at stake. Furthermore, the fights in this picture, unlike in many martial arts film, are not repetitive. The film utilizes a variety locations, weapons, and methods of mayhem to keep the action fresh and welcome.

At this point the movie still would have been solid, but the writers decided to take the film one step further and make it emotionally engaging through romance, genuine dramatic tension, and moments of levity. This human dimension, I believe, is what truly sets Brotherhood apart from so many other action, horror, and adventure films. The film is steeped in story, in myth. This is not the event-driven “myth” of Robert Rodriguez’s disappointing Once Upon a Time in Mexico, it’s the strong, character-driven myth of the Arthurian legends. The Beast of Gevudaun was a real creature believed to have killed some 130 women and children. Many of the characters in this film were inspired by real persons from recorded documents. The film is not historical; nor does it intend to be. But it is intentionally rooted in the humanity of the story it tells. In this aspect more than any other, Brotherhood of the Wolf extends beyond a horror or action genre piece to become a full and engaging dramatic adventure. 

Here are a few more thoughts.

First, I don’t understand the nightmare, if you do, please Comment.
Second, Note the treatment of the Native American. He is treated with a respect I have rarely seen in film. His medical prowess, fighting ability, and skills with nature are all interesting if not admirable. He really makes me regret what the Europeans did to his people and culture.
Third, Watch the small details regarding tools used by characters. Notice Fronsac’s use of iconic Native American weapons during his attack on the witches/gypsies. He is fully taking on the persona of his companion (as a type of vengeful ghost). Then note in the final scene his use of two identical daggers, to symbolize Mani and himself. Also take note of both the bone-sword used by Jean-Francois in the end battle and the firearm he uses earlier. The bone-sword serves as type of replacement for his diseased and crippled arm, and the gun/bullets shows a self-indulgence and arrogance in his character.

Anythang else?

Yes. Plenty…most of which I do not understand, or I do understand and can’t formulate into words. I watched all three-plus hours of special features included on my extended Collector’s edition set, and I missed so much in this movie. I missed so much that my notes from the features are an absolute mess.

The film had a variety of deleted scenes, some of which were included into my DIRECTOR’s CUT and some of which were not. Frankly, all of the deleted scenes I saw should have been included in the final DIRECTOR’s CUT. That is, with the exception of one scene that did not make sense in the final narrative of the film. The first of the deleted scenes is an extended version of the film’s first major fight scene, wherein Mani, the Native American warrior, beats a group of soldiers who are abusing peasants. The extended version is just a joy to watch, and it really conveys the comraderie of Fronsac and his Native American companion. The second deleted scene is the scene that makes no sense given the narrative structure of the film, so I won’t go into it. The third scene is character exploration for the priest Sardis and his relationship to the Marongias family. The fourth scene is a gorgeous, haunting romantic scene between Fronsac and Marianne. The fifth is scene displays Sylvia’s relationship to the rest of the characters in the story and really establishes her power. They are all worth watching, and all but one of them (in my opinion) should have been added to the DIRECTOR’s CUT of the film.

Well, again, I have the 3-disc special edition and with it a variety of features, all of which are insightful. The filmmakers are very vulnerable and honest with the documenters and, in being so, really shed light not only the film but on French cinema as a whole. While I do not recommend that all of you go out and buy this thing up; I definitely recommend grabbing the DVD up from me for a weekend (if possible) and getting the goods on the film itself and the real facts on which the story is based. This movie is captivating; I want it to be longer than it is and explore all that it has. I want to watch it constantly, and I want to show it to friends and talk about it. This is a movie I recommend for a great ride and a rich and fulfilling cinematic experience.

September 27th, 2007

Movie Meview: The Brotherhood of the Wolf: 6

brotherhoodwolf.jpg Brother of the Wolf is the first French, martial-arts, monster-movie period piece I’ve ever seen, and it may be the best entry into its genre.

The film follows Jean Baptiste and his Native American companion Mani as they venture to a remote French province to investigate the deaths of several local women at the hands of a beast. The beast, an enormous wolflike creature, is apparently bullet-proof and spiritual in nature, haunting the province due to the libertarian ways of France’s present king. There’s a lot of surprises throughout the story, so I won’t get into too much detail, other than to say the film is chock full of surprises and brilliant fight sequences sure to keep even the most jaded genre fan interested–at least I think so.

There’s little in the film that has been seen elsewhere or seen as well as it is here, for that matter. The Native American character, played with reserved charm by Mark Dacoscos truly steals the show anytime he is put at the forefront of a scene and makes the most convincing argument for the beauty of Native American cutlure through his quiet wisdom, quick wit, and warrior’s spirit. He is a fascinating character and made me lament deeply the loss of Native American culture in the United States.

Beyond him, however, the other characters, of which there are many, are dynamic and well-rounded, each with their own secrets and mysteries. The story itself is interesting, unpredcitable, and starkly unsympathetic toward its heroes in ways one does not expect.

Brotherhood of the Wolf gets a very soild 6 from me. Not one of my all-time favorites, but certainly one of the best movies I’ve seen in any of the categories in which it includes itself.

WARNING: This film is a hard R for implied rape, brief nudity, sexuality, gruesome images, extended seuqences of violence, torture, and brief crude humor. Watch with caution of these factors.

September 26th, 2007

C.J. Customs: Punisher Statuette

Punisher Statuette


From the Marvel Universe

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Figure:
The Punisher

Series:
Statuettes

Recipe:
This figure was made by placing a DST “Grave” Spike head on a Dusty Trails “Spider” gangster figure. I then painted the figure to match Punisher from the comics

Accessories:
This figure included 2 pistols, 2 empty pistols, an automatic shotgun, and a machine gun.

Reasoning Behind The Effort:
I picked up 6 Dusty Trails gangster “Spider” figures on the cheap, and I thought “Who better to make jumping with guns than the Punisher.”, so I did this custom.

Additional Thoughts
This figure was awesome. The yelling face, the diving, the weapons, they were awesome! The figure served as a great Mcfarlane-esque version of this awesome character. I parted with it on Ebay, but I still love it! (FIGURE COMPLETED IN FALL of 2006).

September 25th, 2007

Movie Meview: Star Trek 6, The Undiscovered Country: 6

Star Trek is one of those franchises that’s hit and miss for me. Unlike Star Wars or Harry Potter, the series really has to do something special for me to take notice, and due to my own personal tastes those occurrences are fewer than I might like. When Star Trek doesn’t do it for me, I’m bored and fed up rather quickly, paying little to no mind to the good or bad due to outright lack of interest. However, when Star Trek gets it right for me, I can’t help but swell up with joy and burst forth with happiness.
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I am so thankful to say that Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country filled me with those wonderful feelings. This movie is an exceptional sci-fi thriller. It’s a story of political intrigue, wrongful imprisonment, and well-paced mystery. All of the major The Original Series regulars are here, from the beautiful Uhura to the crotchity Bones; and they all deliver on every level one familiar with Trek would expect. Kim Cattrell also co-stars and danged if she, too, doesn’t completely knock it out of the park.

It’s interesting in this film how the filmmakers were able to explain to their audience a system of government, then create a crime within said system, and then solve the mystery behind that crime, all within a tight runnning time that never feels dull. I was exceedingly happy with this picture. It’s not better than Wrath of Khan or First Contact, but it’s certianly up there.

I am giving Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country a very solid 6. It’s one of the best entries in the Trek series.

September 24th, 2007

C.J.’s Customs: Rogue Demon Hunter Wesley

“Rogue Demon Hunter” Wesley


from the Season One Angel episode, “Parting Gifts”

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Figure:
“Rogue Demon Hunter” Wesley

Series:
Angel

Recipe:
This figure was ultra easy. It’s a DST “Parting Gifts” Wesley figure with a “Bad Girls” Wesley head, with scruff applied with a cuetip.

Accessories:
This figure included a black base, an axe, two different bike helmets, and a crossbow.

Reasoning Behind The Effort:
DST did a FANTASTIC job on their “Parting Gifts” Wesley figure. I loved him. I just wished that he had the nerdy Wesley head, rather than the BAMF Wesley head. So, I made the switch and added some scruff to still make the figure look episode accurate.

Additional Thoughts
This was not much of a custom, really. I tok a pre-existing figure, added a new head with some paint; and that’s it. That’s it. I loved the newer version, but I didn’t keep it. I built an even better version later, which I love, and I set this figure loose on the world via Ebay. (FIGURE COMPLETED IN SUMMER 2005).

September 23rd, 2007

Movie Meview: True Lies: 5

truelies.jpgTrue Lies is a blend homage and satire that makes for a fun, if not ridiculous, time at the movies. Much to director James Cameron’s credit, he has made an exemplery action film while also refusing to take it seriously, balancing the over-the-top action that moviegoers expect with the self-assured comedy needed to let the audience know that it’s all in good fun.

Arnold Shwartzneggar stars as Harry Tasker, a secret agent whose identity is hidden from his family and believes his wife is having an affair. After solving that mystery, however, he and his wife are roped into a plot by terrorists and he has save his family and the United States. I don’t want to really get into detail here, for there are a great many surprises to be seen in the film, and I certianly don’t want to ruin that for you all if you haven’t seen the flick.

There is some overt sexuality, lots of violence, and some language; but overall it’s good fun at the cinema. There’s alot of very memorable, hilarious scenes of both action and comedy, and I am hard pressed of any scenes or sequences that sucked or dragged. There was some stuff that I didn’t particularly like, but I think I can chalk that up to my personal taste more than the movie’s fault.

That being said, I give True Lies a solid 5. It’s a fun time.

September 22nd, 2007

End of the Week Update: 09/22/07

Grace, peace, and thanks to you all for visintg the stage with your valuable weekend time. My wish for you is that you find a goblin and kill it, then have a hearty stew in celebration of your victory.

First. Looks like Buffy figure line I was so keen on helping save is dead in the water like a harpooned fish. Sad days in the streets, my friends. Sad Days in the streets.

Second. Things are still going well at SuperHerotimes.com, check it out!

Third. I read Marvel’s TPB of Civil War last week. it was good but not great.

Movie Moment of the week:
It’s actually not a “Movie Moment” this week. It’s a video, sent to me by my friend, Dean. I have no idea why it’s funny, but it is…


Quote-of-week. “You guys were attacked by ninjas, and you didn’t call me? What’s that?” Jasper Elwert, in the motion picture, Let’s Hear It For the Boys

REASONs-MY-WIFE-IS-AWESOME-OF-THE-WEEK: Last weekend we marathoned Season 3 of The Office. This weekend we’re marathoning the second season of Prison Break. Awesome.

SONG OF THE POST: “Liberation” by Earth, Wind, and Fire.

September 21st, 2007

RANT: A PRETTY FACE IS NOT BETTER THAN A FANTASTIC PERFORMANCE

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Okay, heads up. It’s time to call it as I see it. I’ve watched alot of movies this last year, and something is really beginning to bother me to no end. I am getting really sick of movies featuring female actresses who can’t act, but get parts becuase they are pretty. I’m sorry, but unless you’re making a porno, the attractiveness of a woman should have little to know bearing on casting a flic. Sure, you don’t want to cast Rosie O’donell or Female Sasquatch as the fairy princess, but that doesn’t mean you need Jessica Simpson either (Granted, I haven’t seen her in any movies, but that’s what trailers are for, to warn us.)

Look, I’m not saying that I don’t appreciate beauty on screen. I’m a man. I do. Sue me. But I’m married to a beautiful woman, I don’t need to look at a TV Screen to feel good in my bathing suit place. So, how about less eye candy and more acting. I’d rather see a movie with a female that’s a 6 but who I believe as a character, than seeing a movie with a character who is an arguable 10 but who makes me want to shoot myself with a nailgun every time she talks.

The most heinous crime of this nature is Barry Sonenfeld’s Men in Black, wherein the senusual Linda Fiorentino complete removed me from the movie every time she spoke. Luckily, the charismatic Will Smith was usually there to bail her out; but everytime I watch that movie, and Tommy Lee Jones is being Excellent, and I’m so happy, and I just want to cry with joy at the wonderful time I’m having, she utters the line, “Hey you guys aren’t from the department of health are you?” and my skin melts off of my face with anguish (yes, like Raiders of the Lost Ark). Her performance in that movie is that bad. That’s nothing against her personally, I hear she is awesome in alot of other things, but I refuse to believe there weren’t at least 50 other, just as sensuous women up for her role in Men in Black

Granted, there may have been some background politics to her being hired, who knows in Hollywood. But I am still taking my stance. NOW, READ THIS. I C.J. STUNKARD, would rather have a less attractive, stellar actress in a film, knocking the role out of the park than have a bombshell remove me from the movie’s world every time I hear her speak. If you can get a beautiful woman who can also turn in a four star performance everytime she’s onscreen (say, Laura Linney or Catherine Zeta-Jones), more power to you. But I am really tired of sacrificing the believeability in the story for a nice-looking cardboard performance.

And here’s the rub with my little qualm. If you give the audience, myself included, a well-rounded, female character, even if she’s a 6 out of 10, we dudes will usually fall in love with her (in a harmless way). Seriosuly, if I am watching a movie with a well-rounded female character, the actress usually becomes FAR MORE attractive to me over the course of the movie. Examples of this are the woman who played Eowyn in Lord of the Rings, Sandra Bullock in Speed, and Renee Zellwegger in Jerry Maguire. These attractive women may not be dynamite “10″ pin-ups by Hollywood standards, but danged if they didn’t melt my heart like butter on popcorn (mmmm… delcicious). Anybody backing me up on this? Or am I alone, here?

SONG OF THE POST: “Girl on TV” by LFO, from their self-titled debut album.

September 20th, 2007

Movie Meview: Men in Black: 5

meninblack.jpgMen in Black is a superbly told sci-fi summer blockbuster which would probably be one of my favorite films were it not for a single glaring weakness that takes me out of the film so completely every time I watch it, it even inspired a rant (going up tomorrow!)

Basically, Men in Black is the story of a governemnt agency that policies the extra-terrestrial element on earth. Because of them, not only do aliens live peacifully among us, but our planet has evaded countless catastrophes and massacres. They’re great. Tommy Lee Jones plays the seasoned officer. Will Smith is his partner-in-training. Together, they save the world. Awesome.

Men in Black or MiB is a really delightful film. It was made at a time when effects still served the story rather than dictacte it, and the film has a wonderful, tight, well-told story with great characters (less one), interesting visuals, lots of laughs, and some fun action. Will Smith is fresh and fantastic, certainly at his best. As is Tommy Lee Jones, perhaps in his best role in the 90s after The Fugitive and Natural Born Killers. The way in which the story introduces the audience to the world of aliens-on-earth is incredibly well executed via the drafitng of Will Smith in to the Men in Black agency (a tactic copied perfectly in the original Matrix). The story serves well as both a sci-fi, a mystery, a comedy, and an action movie. It is one of those genre transcending movies that just works on every level. So I give Men in Black a 5. A 5? Not a a 7? But a 5? After all that praise? What happened?

Well, let me tell you. Men in Black may be the only movie I’ve ever watched where a single performance ruins the entire experience for me every time I watch it. No slight against Linda Fiorentino as a person, but I really didn’t believe a word she said in this movie. I felt her overacting was distracting and completely pulled me out of the picture. After this last viewing, wherein I really thought about the lines and character she was given, I was very upset. Not only did she have material to work with, but she was the only weak link in an otherwise nearly-perfect sci-fi adventure. I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really wish they would have gotten Helena Bonham Carter or Famke Jensen for that role. Either of those ladies would have been fantastic. Linda Fiorentino, who may be a wonderful person and may be great in other movies, didn’t do it for me here. I’m sorry. The 5 stands.