Clue is the only comedy I have ever seen that is based on a board game., and I have to say that it’s good. It’s surprising, but it’s true. The movie, like the game, is a who-done-it exercise involving characters the likes of Colonel Mustard, Mr. Green, Professor Plum, and more as they are locked in a home trying to solve murders happening around them.

The movie succeeds for two reasons. First, Tim Curry, who plays the host of the “murder-manor”. Curry’s contagious and vivacious performance carries the movie through every plot-point, and his chaotic analyses at the film’s conclusion are amazing; second, the writing, which really carries the confounded murder plot. While the movie has several, event-oriented scenes, it’s really a film of talking, of setting up accusations and shooting them down, of running around and figuring things out. It’s a talking movie, and to be honest, the talking tends to be fun, with each character having his or her own voice and reaction to the events occurring before them.

Of course, this leads to my big “criticism” of sorts. Clue feels like a play, not a movie. Sure, it jumps from this room to that, but the action could all be centered in a theater and have the same impact. I really hate when movies feel this way. It’s a personal thing, and maybe it’s stupid, but when I am watching a movie and it feels like a play, I get really bothered by it. This is the fault of no one but the director. The film is shot adequately but offers nothing that makes it worth putting on the silver screen, particularly since it’s tone feels so much like a play.

Now, this will probably piss people off, but the above criticism, is enough to real make me dislike this movie—or at least feel “meh” about it. As much as I am offput by the visuals and overall feel however, the performances—particularly from Curry and Christopher Lloyd—as well as the dialogue made the movie somewhat enjoyable. I’m gonna let these pro’s and con’s kinda balance one another out and give Clue a tentative 4. Again I know this is a meview, and personally I really hated the visual style and tone of the picture, so maybe I should be giving it a 3, maybe even a 2, particularly since it had such a strong script as its foundation, but I am feeling good, and if someone wanted me to, I’d watch it again, just to hear the dialogue and study the structure. So, yeah, I’ll stick with a 4.

Okay, folks. Here’s the deal. I thought that I wrote up this meview 9 months ago but apparently I didn’t…or it was lost. So, that being said, I’m not gonna spend a great deal of time on it.

Donnie Brasco is a fine movie. It’s not the best “undercover-in too deep” cop/agent movie I’ve ever seen, but the actors elevate the material and make it better than it might have been otherwise. Its based on a true story, which is intriguing, but it’s also very “by the numbers”, so it feels like an inauthentic Hollywood picture written by committee. The story follows Johnny Depp as an undercover agent (I don’t remember if it’s CIA or FBI) and his relationship to a mobster played by Al Pacino. Their relationship is at the heart of the story, which I suppose is interesting, but it was not explored enough to be memorable. Donnie Brasco has a few thrills and a moderate sense of tension, but it was nothing special to me. In fact, I felt it was really a mundane genre exercise. Other than Al Pacino’s last scene, I remember nothing specific about it; it was just kinda “blah”–NOT BAD though. I’m not saying it’s bad. I’m just saying it was sufficient. It was fine. That’s really all I’m gonna say about it. Donnie Brasco gets a 4 from me because I thought it was a good, watchable, fine entry into a genre I find interesting–but honestly, the film was nothing special to me.

I recently stumbled across this video of Quentin Tarantino’s run-in with a dude carrying a video camera. Just watch it for a second before reading what I have to say…
WARNING: This video contains profanity.

The news story under which I found the video was titled, “Quentin Goes Berserk” (I have not linked to the story, because I don’t want them getting hits). Of course, seeing this video, I have no idea where that headline comes from. Frankly, QT is not going “berserk”. He’s barely past “flustered.” In fact, he’s pretty much acting like a normal guy. If I were standing in a cold, snowy mess trying to enjoy a warm cup o’ joe, and a stranger came up to me and just started filming me, I’d be less than relaxed. Then, if said stranger ignored me when I asked him what he was doing, I’d get frustrated. Then if I pushed him away from me, and he kept coming, I’d be even more upset. THEN if after I again pushed him away a second time, he challenged me to hit him, I’m not sure I’d have the self-control to walk away. I’d probably get medieval on him like Hulk Hogan on the Iron Sheik (yeah, I’m talking merciless beating, here, ending with a leg drop).

Frankly, I think QT handled himself very well. He didn’t go “berserk”. He reacted like most average persons would and even restrained himself. The whole “berserk” headline was just a ploy to get people to read the article, and they sure suckered me into it, but let me go on record and say that this is was no celebrity freak-out. This was just a guy reacting to harassment; and frankly, he showed himself to be a controlled person. Agree? Let me know in the comments section!

Song of the Post “Rush” by Talib Kweli from the album, Quality

Figure:
Bobby “Iceman” Drake

Series:
Movies

Recipe:
This figure was relatively easy. It was a simple Toy Biz X2 figure with the hands from a “thug” from Mcfarlane’s Matrix:Reloaded Chateau boxset. I then applied “metallic sky blue” paint to the skin tones on the figures’ hands and head, and I blended this color into the figure. That’s it.

Accessories:
This figure included no accessories.

Reasoning Behind The Effort:
I loved the sculpt for Toy Biz’ X2 Iceman, but I wanted ice effects on him. That’s the whole reason. Pretty simple.

Additional Thoughts
I loved this figure. I like the idea of the “blended power” figure–figures like the Invisible Woman that is half visible/half invisible or Johnny Storm with removable “fire effects” on his arms or fists–and this Iceman figure fit into that category well. Less the palm and wrist articulation, this figure retained all his joints and looked fantastic. I was pressed for funds, so he had to go on ebay in mid-2007, but I did totally dug this guy. (FIGURE COMPLETED IN WINTER 2005)

Figure:
Turok Han, Ubervamp

Series:
Buffy

Recipe:
Super-Easy figure to replicate, here. It’s a repainted The Master figure from MAC. I had to mix colors to get the tones right, but it’s still a relatively easy deal.

Accessories:
This figure came with a female victim (a repainted Jean Grey Figure) and a street wall base.

Reasoning Behind The Effort:
This ubervamp figure was made because these villains are THE villains for the Buffy Series finale, and they’re awesome. Awesome! So I had to make him.

Additional Thoughts
I really dug this figure. Sure, his paint apps made him static, but he still looks fantastic. I sold him, but he was a great unmade character that really added to my collection while I had it. (FIGURE COMPLETED IN EARLY 2005)

What can I even say about The Princess Bride. It’s basically a perfect movie. It has excellent comedy, wonderful heart, and fantastic adventure–not to mention the single greatest duel in the history of swordplay.

The Princess Bride follows two stories, with one being told within another. This in and of itself is something of great interest to me, personally. I find that the “story within a story” device is always a neat way to tell a tale, and I totally dig it. The first story is about a sick young boy who is learning to appreciate the company and taste of his grandfather. The second is the story the grandfather reads the boy, a tale of a princess, a ruthless prince, a true love, a vengeful Spaniard, a giant, shrieking eels, a fire swamp, an albino, a six-fingered man, and the “Cliffs of Insanity”.

The story told by the Grandfather is incredibly imaginative, inventive, and clever with dashing valor, witty characters, and wonderful outcomes. It could have been it’s own movie. Framing it within the story of the boy and his grandfather, however, heightens it–because it not only reinforces (not TELLS but reinforces) what the audience feels and, furthermore, shows the true power of story and narrative to cross generation gaps and unite people. It’s a brilliantly crafted piece of writing from Hollywood master Willaim Goldman (of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid fame), and Rob Reiner’s exceptional direction of his superb cast truly capture the materials clever power. The bottom line is, The Princess Bride is a masterpiece.

This is one of those movies that goes beyond the “best of” stratum of the 6, it is an all out 7. I love The Princess Bride and never tire of watching it. It’s a favorite.

Okay, brass tacks. This wasn’t much of a documentary. Of course, Michael Moore’s movies aren’t either, so maybe that’s the point. For all intents and purposes, Michael Moore Hates America is a standard Michael Moore-esque documentary that includes all the same tricks, tools, and tactics that Moore himself uses, while also lifting the current to show them for what they are–at least that is what we’re supposed to think.

The film’s biggest failing for me was director Mike Wilson, who, not unlike Moore puts himself at the center of his film as the “average guy looking out for the truth and common man”. Wilson goes to great lengths to convince the audience that he’s not Moore, despite how much his doing this makes him FEEL like Moore. Like Moore, Wilson is not much of a narrator. Like Moore, his melodramatic opening to the film is a little much to take seriously. Like Moore, he states the obvious, then makes accusations about why the obvious happened. This may have been his intent; and if so, he is very successful, but there is a major, major problem. If I’m watching a movie called, Michael Moore Hates America, I am either (a)watching it to bash it or (b) watching it to validate what I already think. If I’m an “(a)” viewer, than I will be appalled at Wilson’s derivative style. If I am a “(b)” viewer, I hate Moore’s style anyway, so the fact that Wilson uses it is a turn-off.

Sure the movie has high points. Very early, we get excellent comments from noted author, Dinesh Di Souza. Everything said by Penn from Penn & Teller is entertaining, particularly the whole “you’re gonna F8ck it up” segment, with the phrase being intercut with Mike Wilson stuttering during his first interview. Also, Wilson gives people Moore took advantage of get the stage to defend themselves. But these few nuggets of truth or entertainment are culled from a documentary with a two hour running time; which like Moore’s is far too long given the uncharismatic lead.

For all intents and purposes, I really did not care for this flic at all; and that’s very sad considering my outspoken views about Moore. I should have been hooked into this movie from the opening shots and championed it from start to finish. Instead, I found myself saying, “shouldn’t have done that.” or “That doesn’t really prove anything” or “yeah, that might be true, but…”. I was really looking forward to finally catching this flic and sitting back and just enjoying someone saying, “See you’re right. Moore’s full of it, and this is why.” Instead, I got the same feeling I have during a Moore film, one of disgust and utter displeasure. Kudos to Wilson’s, Producer, Christopher Ohlsen–if he was in fact the producer and not a plant to create a sense of honesty. His small bits were interesting.

So, bottom line. I am actually going to give Michael Moore Hates America a sound 2.. Wilson is too much like Moore to criticize the filmmaker, and his use of cartoons, self-aggrandizing focus, and pale attempts at humor are stale and unentertaining. The film makes a few good points; but those of a critical mind already know half of what is said, and tchances are, they know even more (no pun intended). Yes, Moore not only uses but also abuses people. Yes, Moore is a hypocrite and shows signs of clinical narcissism. Yes, Moore is a liar. But frankly, this isn’t the work that convinced me of those things–Michael Moore’s film did it themselves.

First, man. I really blew it this week. I was at Suncoast on Monday, and they had a 3 for $12 sale for special edition DVDs, and I passed it by like a chump…

Second, I was then driven mad by my lack of taking advantage of said deal for the next two days. Then i got over it. Sure, I should have taken advantage, but I didn’t. Oh well.

Third, I was sick on Wednesday and Thursday, but Friday I was at 110%. Hooray for Antibodies.

Fourth, I built a Lego castle I got a few weeks back, and it left a bit to be desired. That being said, I am hoping to destroy it as well as my Lego Batcave and Jabba Sail barge to create an insane larger, original piece.

Fifth, my stupid Itunes Shopping cart crashed, and I lost over 140 saved songs to purchase later. I am sad.

Movie Moment of the week: The attempted kidnapping in 3 Ninjas.

REASONs-MY-WIFE-IS-AWESOME-OF-THE-WEEK: She is adorable when she’s cold, and she’s been col alot this last week. So she’s been really adorable all week.
Song of the Post: Hush by Deep Purple from the album, Shades of Deep Purple.

Last Night, my wife and I took some time to look at some funny, funny videos on Youtube, and here’s two we watched repeated. One is the infamous “afro ninja” that pretty much everyone has seen. The other is…well, word cannot describe it.

Black Hawk Down is a boy playing with his G.I. Joes. That’s what it is. You have disposable dudes who get knocked off quick, others who get captured, and still others who survive everything they shouldn’t. The villains outnumber the heroes 20 to one, the heroes are locked in, and it’s nonstop action. For all these reasons, It’s a fun and entertaining piece of entertainment.

However, on the flip side, it’s also terribly confusing, shallow, and repetitive. I don’t now what director Ridley Scott was intending with this, but I am almost certain that it didn’t work. What did work was the stylized action of soldiers battling the faceless masses; but frankly, I don’t think that was his intention. In fact, I was torn because I had wished I cared more about these soldiers, the people they killed, the masses of Africans, this entire event, and all of its importance, but frankly I didn’t. I just had an entertaining time.

All that into account, I will say that Black Hawk Down if nothing else, is one of those films that I’ll have to explain every time someone asks my opinion, and I appreciate movies that require me to engage them with more than a simple, “yeah, it’s good.” or “No, i hate it.” response. Conversations about this movie I have in the future will probably sound something like this:

Friend, “Did you like Black Hawk Down?
C, “Yeah, but for all the wrong reasons. I felt like it was the best game of playing with army men and action figures I’d experienced in a long time, but it’s supposed to be more, I think.”

Then I’ll have to go into what I mean, which is basically what I wrote above. So I don’t know where I stand with it really. I mean, sure it’s great entertainment, but I don’t think that was the goal; and as a result, I don’t even know if I can call it a “good” movie. Can I? I suppose since it’s a meview, and I enjoyed it, I can–so I will. Black hawk Down gets a tentative 4 from me. I found the film to be entertaining and cool, but I think that it was supposed to be much more than that, and I missed it, so I have this shallow aching that I shouldn’t like the movie the way that I do. In fat, maybe I’m supposed to be repelled by it. Oh well, that happens some times.