Well, like all people, I dream. But unlike most people, I dream of toys. I dream of collectibles far above my paygrade, and I look upon them as unattainable trophies. Below are the top 7 items (in no particular order, less number 1) that I’ve seen that make me say, “WOW, THAT is PHENOMENAL. HOW CAN I GET IT?” Then upon looking at the price tag, I realize, “there is no way.” Keep dreaming. So I do. BElow, check out the Top 7 Toys I’ll Always Want and Never Own
7. Lego Death Star - This enormous and amazing lego replica of the hailed home of villainy from
Return of the Jedi is amazing, and I do long for it often. It’s an spectacular piece, and to own it would be crazy. If I did own it, I would require myself to purchase loads of Micro Machine X-wings, TIE Fighters, A-Wings, TIE Interceptors, and Y-Wings, to fight around it. At $300, I would either have to win the lottery or slay a golden moose to get it.
6. Lego Millenium Falcon - This is the only complete Millenium Falcon fullyin-scale with the figures it includes, and it is a sight to behold. In fact, this may be Lego’s most awe-inspiring piece to date. The ship is huge, beautiful, and a piece to fulfill the dreams of fanboys of all ages. It’s just one of those pieces that makes you realize how cool toys can be. This piece is about $500, I believe; and it’s more likely that they choose me to play Lando Calrissian in a Star Wars re-make than for me to see this beautiful ship in my own home.
5. Doom Premium Format Figure - The reasoning behind this figure is two-fold. First, it’s an amazing, mixed-media statue from Sideshow Collectibles that features real metal parts, PLUS real cloth goods, and a stellar pose that just captures the mindful planning of Doom. Second, this piece would be fantastic as a Statue that a 6″ Doom would have built of himself (similar to Saddam in Iraq). Picture this display. This premium format Doom, with a 6″ Doom standing either on its shoulder or on a podium in front of it, with a dozen doombots in front of it. It’d be crazy awesome.
4. Stealth Iron Man Maquette - Beyond a shadow of a doubt, this is the greatest item from Sideshow collectibles that I have seen in person. This statue is absolutely fantastic,and I beleive that upon first seeing it–I did, in fact, piss my own pants. Luckily, my body temperature had reached magma-like proportions due to my excitement, adn the piss evaporated before staining my pants. It’s an amazing piece of 3D comic art, with light up features, and I am certain it serves as a centerpiece in the many collections it is in.
(Both of the above pieces clocked in over $300, whcih now means they probably run about $450 on the secondary market. Either way, it’ll never happen for me.)
3. The Cobra Terrordrome - I had this amazing, Cobra base as a child, but I had to get rid of it due to space in my parent’s attic and my own stupidity. Looking back at my own life, getting rid of this base may be one of the top seven stupidest things I could have possibly ever done. I loved this base. It was an amazing playset, and I am certain I will never see it in my own home again. To have it again would be an amazing addition to not only my collection but my very life, for it would be the remedying of a poor life choice made by me as a child. Looking back, I would have much rather had this and slept on a bail of hay than had to have gotten rid of it for a queen sized bed. Damned be my impetuous youth. I don’t know how much it would cost to replace this toy…probably a million bucks, maybe a billion. If I owed Kuwait, I could probably get it again; but in my current life I just don’t see it happening.
2. NECA’s Lord of the Rings Balrog - Above you will see the powerful, 18″ monster from the fabled halls of dwarven lands. It is the Balrog of Fire, and he will burn your village to the ground. i want him to burn G.I. Joes and knights aplenty. I long for him, but at a minimum $80 bucks, that ain’t bloody likely.
1. BETA RAY BILL’S FABLED URU HAMMER, STORMBREAKER. So, here’s the bottom line. I could never afford to BUY Stormbreaker because it cost $300. But, let’s say I could. Let’s say I had millions of dollars and a whole warehouse in which to keep my beloved toys…well, even then I could not buy it. Let’s say that Santa Clause or a magical Egyptian genie came to me and said “Make a wish for the one collectible you want most, and to you it will be given.” I could not ask for it…
See, the reason Stormbreaker is my number one most wanted collectible that I will always want and never own is that Stormbreaker, whether real or in prop replica form, is an URU HAMMER, forged by dwarves and bequeathed only to those who are worthy. One cannot ask for an Uru Hammer. It is like asking for knighthood. That being said, because I am a man of morals, I could never purchase Stormbreaker for myself. It would be gesture of unspeakable pride and vulgarity–not unlike buying the Stanley Cup and having one’s name placed on it or buying an Academy Award and presenitng it to oneself in front of those more deserving. Stormbreaker is a reward, a gift, only given to those who are worthy. So, not only could I never purchase it of my own accord; but in order to possess it, I would need someone else to believe me worthy and bestow the fabled hammer upon me as a reward for my valor…and that, my friends, that, will never happen. In fact, by the very writing of this article, I have made myself unworthy of the gift, and were it given to me, I would not know what to do…
