See Subject.

Special thanks to our friends at Shelby Manor for this terrifying story that puts all other horrors into perspective. I have always feared snakes–particularly the idea of a snake crawling down my throat as I slept–and this story takes my fear to level 11. Throw snakes in a fire!

Also related to this story, anything bad that happens to a man whilst taking a wizz in the wilderness is a crime against humanity; and if any creature attacks my winkle during a roadside tinkle, I may need to burn down an entire woodland to taste sweet justice. To this poor Aussie gentleman, I offer my condolences and wish him the very best of karmic blessings following this devastating attack on his person.

This is the question on everyone’s mind this week, after THIS STORY about a boy who hired hookers, in order to play Halo, hit the web. It is a true tale of childhood mischief, wherein the boy essentially stole his father’s credit card to pay for the party lasses and, when they arrived, informed them that he and his friends were midgets with a traveling circus but still of legal age for a late night shindig. I checked several sources to confirm it, and this story does appear to be real. Frankly, I think that it’s wrong to steal from your parents and lie to hookers; but if you’re simply going to play Halo…well, at least your saving the poor women from what else they’d be doing with their time.

…am I a terrible person?

Probably.

I’m a lame-ass, uncool nerd —-pretty much the least cool person I know—- but this, THIS, THIS makes me look like a friggin’ rock star.

I usually don’t e-mail companies about their products or choices, but last week, I had no choice. It was a sad afternoon on the final day of January last Thursday, when word hit me that Starbucks will be phasing out their breakfast sandwiches from stores across the country. Now, if you’ve never had any of their breakfast sandwiches, then this news means nothing to you; however, if you have enjoyed the delicious morning delights, then you know the WORLD is going to suffer as a result. Why? Well, the Starbucks sandwiches are fantastic; and when people eat them, they are empowered to (a)work harder and (b) act friendlier (NOTE: this is not scientific data). So, we need the Starbucks Sandwiches. They are gifts to the earth, and I love them; and if you’ve had them, you also love them–just try to deny it. I dare you.

So anyway, friends. I e-mailed Starbucks, and they e-mailed me in return–which was nice considering they had no need to do so. They confirmed that the sandwiches will be gone by year’s end, and I am sad. As A result, I intend to get at least ONE of these sandwiches a week until they are gone, and then I will cherish their memory forever. I don’t care if the amount of grease and sausage contained in the sandwiches removes 3 years from my life–these sandwiches are just that good, and I am sad that the earth will lose them. All Hail the Starbucks Breakfast Sandwich! May they live in our heart from hear to eternity!

The film adaptation for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows may be split into two parts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Check out The Movie Blog for the full story. If this is true, then I am ecstatic. In my opinion, the fourth harry Potter film forward could all be 4-hour epics; and th fact that Deathly Hallows could be makes me happy. I know I don’t usually report “news” related stuff, but this was too exciting for me!

As most of you know, I want to be a writer someday–when I don’t suck. Right now, I kind of suck, so it may be a little time before I get something into print, which is fine. These things take time. I’m constantly learning and getting there.

Anyway, the Writer’s Strike is happening, and I am actually in favor of it. The demands are justified, warranted, and reasonable. A recent story on Slashfilm gives excellent insight into just what’s happening with the Strike. It really puts the event into perspective; and if you are interested in why The Office and other shows are going into re-runs, please go to Slashfilm and give it a watch.

Grace, Peace, and Thanks, Good Friends. For those citizens of the U.S., bow your head in shame as I am doing now, as a display to the world, that we are, in fact, failing to be healthy.

A recent study conducted by a a team at John Hopkins University found something horrific. After looking at correllating information from 20 published journal studies and varied national surveys, the team found that if dietary trends continue as they are at present, then within the next decade, over 2/3 of the American population will be overweight– in fact, it could be as high as 75%. That’s insane. Full Scoop here.

Thanks to the LBN E-lert for the heads up.