I don’t’ know much about the life and Times of Elizabeth, Queen of England; and frankly, I’m not that interested–at least not after the film Elizabeth. Beginning with the sickness of Queen Mary and going through Elizabeth’s decision to become the so-called “Virgin Queen”, Elizabeth is a tale of political intrigue that explores just how dangerous and unglamorous the rich life of royalty was in England during some period in history, i think during the fifteenth century.

It’s odd, really, to contextually look at the film at its base story, for it would appear to be a fairy tale. A young bastard princess ascends to the throne, defeating enemies both within and outside the nation, then becoming a great ruler–but this film is anything but a fairy tale; it’s more akin to a cautionary tale about power and one’s acceptance of it, for it does create around one a great deal of enemies, users, abusers, and “yes men”, making it quite difficult to trust or love. Betrayal, not happiness, is the reward of royal birth in this film, and it conveys this in odd and mildly engaging ways, which lead one to respect anyone surviving the life of royalty, considering the turmoil which accompanies such a station.

As interesting as that may sound, however, Elizabeth did not do it for me personally. I am sure that others–particularly women and history buffs–will find a great deal of the film interesting and intriguing, if not wholly engrossing from start to finish. I do not, and this is my meview, so I am giving the film a 3.

Enchanted is a fantastic success from Walt Disney Pictures that really captures the innocence and spirit of the old Disney pictures while transporting their characters and ideas into a non-animated, modern world. Their are two primary things I want to note about Enchanted that really stood out to me. First, it is essentially Elf (that Will Ferrell fish-out-of-water movie), only with a female lead. It’s not as good as Elf but it doesn’t have to be. It’s still a really solid entry in the fish-out-of-water genre, and it works. Second, it pokes alot of fun at Disney and, unlike Shrek, the teasing feels fun and innocent. It’s a kindhearted film (like Elf) that honors and becomes all it teases, only WITHOUT an arrogant ugliness so many satires tend to carry (ie. Shrek). I guess I wanted to note these things because (a) I think that once you get the parallels between this and Elf it helps one appreciate the creative choices this one made (b) it’s like Shrek, only much more original, funny, innocent, virtuous, cute, sensible, kind-hearted, fair and genuinely sentimental. (in case you haven’t caught it yet, I’m really laying on the “I like this much, much more than Shrek— another movie that attempts to poke fun at Disney).

I have only positive things to say about Enchanted–well, for the most part. It’s much fun. Amy Adams is wonderful as Giselle, a princess from a fictional world transported into modern day New York, and her supporting cast, including the always-wonderful Susan Sarandan and incredibly talented James Marsden, are excellent–except for latest re-surfaced-1980s- heart-throb-turned-40-year-old-cover-man, Patrick Dempsey. He’s pretty replaceable and brings nothing really to the role; but I suppose the ladies like him, so I give him a pass. Of all the supporters, however, my favorite was “that other guy”, Timothy Spall, who plays Nathaniel, Sarandan’s lackey. He’s excellent in everything he’s in, and here he is really great. Sorry for spending so much time on the actors, I know that’s not my usual way; BUT the acting was pretty stellar for the most part, so I wanted to pay it some attention.

Beyond the acting, Enchanted is shot in a fairly interesting way, and the musical numbers are fun and cool. I really liked them. The songs are harmless disposable pop tunes, but they were fun. REALLY fun. The pace is consistent. The tone is ever-playful and innocent. And overall, the aesthetics in both the fictional, animated fantasy realm AND the real world are solid. I wish the end would have been resolved differently, but that’s okay. It’s not that it was bad, just not how I would have ended it. So, yeah, Enchanted. I dig it, and I give it a 5.

PS - For an excellent review, check The Movie Blog. JUST WATCH THE REVIEW, DON’T BOTHER READING IT. WARNING: THIS LINKED REVIEW CONTAINS PROFANITY AND HARSH LANGUAGE…BUT IT IS STILL HILARIOUS

I have a really, really unique relationship to this film. First, the director was one of my college professors, and he actually told us during our first class that he may be leaving mid-semester to direct this little movie. Second, I followed this movie’s box office daily and watched it soar into profit (it cost $19 million plus probably about $11 in marketing, but it made $75 Million in US theatrical, $69 in international theatrical, plus DVD and TV revenue). Third, I enjoyed it alot. A whole lot.

For those who haven’t seen the film, The Exorcism of Emily Rose follows the story of a priest on trial for conducting an exorcism on a young girl that he believes was possessed. The story is a genre-blending mix of supernatural horror and courtroom drama, which tells of Emily’s condition and death through flashback. That’s really all you need to know.

So, what is about the movie that I like so much. Well, a few things. First, Laura Linney is the lead female attorney, and she’s one of my favorite actresses. Even if I hate a movie she’s in, I love watching her in them. She could be in a movie eating salad for 90 minutes, and I’d still probably give it a 4 if she was the lead. Second, Tom Wilkinson is the priest. Bada-bing, another actor I could watch any day of the week (he played the mob boss in Batman Begins). Third, the genre-blending horror and drama make for an interesting and surprisingly balanced mix of stylistic choices and storytelling. Fourth, the story is an engaging one because it works on two levels–(a) it’s a great story in that YOU, the audience member, are receiving all the facts in order to make a choice on your own about the truth; (b) the subject matter, regardless of the side you take is treated pretty well and is interesting (at least to me). So, I dig it. You know that wasn’t a really well written paragraph, but oh well, it is what it is.

I dig The Exorcism of Emily Rose for all of the above reasons; and becasue of that, it’s one of my all-time favorites–meaning, it gets a big, fat 7. If I didn’t have the relationship to it that I do, well, I probably would still give it a 5. So yeah, I dig it.

Elizabethtown is a bit of a film tragedy. Writer/director Cameron Crowe has attempted to combine elements of Jerry Maguire and Garden State to create a child that has traits of both it parents but not the best ones of either. In fact, the mutual traits it shares are ones that further affirm the higher quality of those films while condemning this one.

The film follows Orlando Bloom as some guy (that should tell you how interesting he is) who has to go to his father’s home town to claim his father’s dead body. At said town, he encounters his father’s southern, Bible-belt side of the family who starkly contrast himself and his high strung mother and sister. Of course, Bloom learns to love the down home charm of these folks. Of course, this all happens after Bloom has lost his shoe company a billion dollar in development capital and has tried to commit suicide. While he finds himself, so too he finds the “lovable” Claire, whose warmth calms him. In the end…I don’t know, I fell asleep. …and it was three o’clock in the afternoon.

Misfires are allowed for every director. In fact, if Crowe makes another two turkeys like Elizabethtown to get back to the intrigue of Vanilla Sky or emotional resonance of Almost Famous, by all means, let him make them. When Crowe’s on point, he covers over a great multitude of cinematic sins. Frankly, maybe its this love I have of Crowe’s work that made Elizabethtown so painful for me. The film felt like a neophyte director was attempting to mimic Crowe’s style, but he lacked the talent to emulate Crowe well or give his style its due. Even the song choices for this film were lackluster and uninteresting. The sentimentality felt thin and tired. The characters weren’t vibrant or likable at all. These are usually Crowe’s strong suits; and for this movie to fail on all accounts really made me dislike it. I didn’t HATE Elizabethtown, but it sure didn’t have much going for it either. It gets a 2 from me.

ELF is pretty much my favorite holiday story after the Birth of Jesus. I love Elf. For those unfamiliar with the tale, it surrounds the journey of Buddy, a human raised by elves who leaves the North Pole to find his Father in New York.

In my opinion, it’s a perfect flic. I see nothing in it I would change or alter to improve it. It has poignant heart and sentimentality. It has good pacing and overall tone. All the performers, particularly Will Ferrell and Faison Love, did well–even the kid was okay in it. Most importantly, above all else of course, the movie was hilarious. It was hilarious. Between Will Ferrell’s silliness and everyone’s reactions to it, the movie had loads of laughs from start to finish.

I really can’t say enough about how much I love this movie, and I’m not gonna drown this out. ELF gets a 7 from me. It’s my favorite holiday film, and I look forward to watching it again, soon! I embeddded the trailer below.

I’m not sure what Disney was thinking when they made The Emperor’s New Groove, but they need to think that way again. This movie is so ridiculous, and so ridiculously funny, I can’t imagine how they came up with it. It’s almost as though a bunch of interns were goofing off one night, got a lot of liquor and pizza and made this oddball comedy that no one was expecting–not even the creators. In fact, I am wondering what the writer and director thought the first time they saw the initial viewing. This movie is crazy. Crazy Good.

For those who don’t know the story, it follows selfish emperor Cuzco, who is turned into a llama by his former advisor, after he flippantly fires her. When his body is being disposed of, Cuzco is dropped in the wagon of a lowly peasant named Pacha, who then discovers that the llama is the emperor and agrees to take him back to the palace to reclaim his throne. There are other themes and concepts spread throughout the story, but this is the basic jist of it.

However, the story of The Emperor’s New Groove is irrelevant, because frankly, the movie isn’t that concerned with it. The movie is concerned with gags, and it has hordes of them. The Emperor’s New Groove is, above and beyond all else, a gag comedy. The movie has about a bazillion jokes (not literally), and most of them hit the mark. They really, really hit the mark. I don’t think I have laughed as hard at any other Disney flic, ever. The movie has the visual gags, the verbal gags, and the underplayed gags of any well-done comedy, and the fact that it’s all in a cartoon allows for alot of humor that most “real life” comedies don’t.

I won’t say that The Emporer’s New Groove is one of my favorite movies of all time, but it is a danged funny one–not only as a cartoon but simply as a comedy. I will give it a 6. It’s that funny. The story was an adequate backone off of which to hang the many, many jokes from the movie. It’s a great little oddball toon from Disney, and I applaud them for it.

I really enjoy The Emperor’s new Groove. It doesn’t hold a candle to Disney’s true contemporary classics, The Little Mermaid through The Lion King, and it doesn’t need to. It’s a very different kind of movie, and it is good at being what it is. I give it a very, very solid 5.

Enter The Dragon is not only a good martial arts movie. It is THE Martial Arts Movie. It features a plot like something out of a spy movie or comic book. It features 3 ethnically diverse central characters. It has ridiculous amount of action, and it has Bolo–a.k.a Chong Li from Bloodsport. Yep! This movie had everything one could possibly want from a martial arts movie!! And DANG it delivers in spades on every front!!

The story is really simple. Bruce Lee’s character is recruited by some government to infiltrate an island from which a major criminal is believed to operate. The criminal, I believe his name is HAN, was a former student in the same kung-fu temple at which Bruce Lee’s character teaches and fights. Lee goes to the island, investigates the situation and beats the crap out of loads of dudes. Innerspersed between his various explorations on the island, we get tournament fights, which are equally entertaining. There are great supporting characters and a bunch of subplots interwoven through the story as well. It’s basic but sweet. I totally dig it.

So, we got some great story, cool characters and loads of action; but Enter the Dragon also has something awesome few martial arts movies have—an awesome soundtrack!!!! The music alone in Enter The Dragon makes it worth watching. It is unapologetic, 70’s funk-paced action music, and I loved it. I don’t think the soundtack exists, but I want it.

Overall, I really love Enter The Dragon from start-to-finish, It gets a 7 from me, because the more I think about it, the more I like it. It’s a favorite of mine!

SONG OF THE POST: “Can I Kick It?” by A Tribe Called Quest, from the album People’s Instinct Travels And Paths of Rhythm.