I’m not sure quite what to say about Hellboy. I enjoyed it. I really did. It’s got some cool monsters, some great characters, and some interesting action. But I’m not in love with it, not like I want to be. It’s an odd thing, really, because I kinda feel like it may be the slowest moving comic book hero movie EVER, which is fitting since it’s a detective movie, and investigations tend to move slowly; but luckily, Hellboy still had enough happening that I was interested. I think what saves it is the character of Hellboy himself. He is extremely likable, cool, and incredibly accessible, despite the fact that he is a demon who happened to be raised by the United States instead of the Nazi’s. His supporting characters, less the uninteresting “audience point of view” character (whose name I don’t even remember) are also interesting, particularly Abe Sapien the fishman are also neat, each with their own strengths and weaknesses, just like HB himself.

The story is REALLY thin, like as thin as any B-rate action flic you can imagine. It involves Rasputin (yes, That Rasputin), some nazis, a gate to Hell, and Hellboy’s existence tying into it all. It’s a fine skeleton to which the filmmaker (Guillermo del Toro of Pan’s Labrynth fame) can attach investigative action sequences; but overall it was the least interesting piece of the story for me. It’s the characters that make the story with watching.

I am not a dyed-in-the-wool Hellboy fanatic like many other fanboys into comic-book genre pictures; but I have to say that I liked it,and I will give it a 4. I enjoyed the action and the characters despite the weak story, and I hope to see Hellboy in more adventures.

So, here’s the rub. As a child, I loved Home Alone. In fact, I would quote it constantly, desperate for attention and adoration. I thought that little Kevin McCallister, portrayed by Macaulay Culkin, was an ingenious tike, and I wanted to be him. Home Alone was one of my favorite holiday flics, and I loved it.

Of course, watching the movie, now, as an adult (kinda), I find the young Kevin a brat, and I kinda wish the burglars won–well, I won’t go that far, I didn’t want the movie to end with Kevin drowned in a river–BUT I’m not a big fan of him these days, and I think, “What a bratty little bastard” for most of the movie. He’s very different than say, Ralphy, in A Christmas Story. I really don’t like Kevin. I don’t like how treats his parents or his pranks on the pizza guy; but on the other hand, he is kind of funny. On top of that, the “Wet Bandits” do have it coming to them and watching them get the punishment they receive is very fulfilling.

My misgivings over Kevin’s brattiness aside, the characters are good and memorable–particularly Uncle Frank and Buzz. I really love the interaction of the family members; and on top of that, John Candy is excellent. The comedy is strong and constant, and The “action” is good too. The music rules, and I dig the subplot with the scary old man–every neighborhood has one, so it fit for me.

So, all that taken into account, I really like Home Alone, and I give it a 5. Yeah, the kid’s a dick, but the thieves deserve the beating they receive, and the cast all give stellar performances (Culkin pulls off the bratty kid really well). The comedy is consistent, and it’s still good, though the kid is a jerk.

If Goblet of Fire solidifed the excitement of the Potter series, then Order of the Pheonix soldifies its depth. The most recent of the series is the most emotionally dynamic and engaging of the series, with time spent more on character than plot, more on setting up the future than worrying in the present.

In fact, the present story, of Hogwart’s being overtaken by the Ministry of Magic is not nearly as fascinating as the student’s secretly preparing for the upcoming battle against the evil Lord Voldemort. It’s the subtle lesson about preparing for the future and what’s important that drives this story beyond being another year of teaching at Hogwart’s. Phoenix is a story about life, about the bigger picture overshadowing the short-term one, about realizing one’s destiny and embracing, or rather, defning it.

The film presents with the Harry Potter not of legend but of reality, with his past problems haunting him and driving him to anger, frustration, and depression. It’s a difficult time for Harry, and those around him; but it’s an important time, a time wherein one learns to accept the past and its echoes in the present, embracing what has come before in order to prepare for what is to come later. It’s a beautiful thematic tale, really–the most emotioanlly resonantly of the series since the original, with loads of wonder and awe to accompany an engaging coming-of-age story.

But the story is not the only strenght of the film. The ending is an awesome battle of wizards and witches. It made 12″ sticks and spellcating cool, and the power exerted by several of the characters put previous magical duels to shame. It’s also as funny, clever, and awe-inspiring as any of the previous entires, lending itself to be enjoyed on many levels.

I can’t speak highly enough of this movie. Thus far, it is my favorite in the series, and I give it a very solid 7.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is the first of the Potter films I was ever treated to, some three years ago. It opened up a world of magic I had not yet seen or experienced, and I felt like I understood, in part, what all the hype was about. Years later, watching the film after having seen the others, it has even more resonance and continues to be a fantastic journey to a world beyond our own.

The film follows Harry’s misadventures in the Tri-wizard Tournament, a notoriously dangerous competition for students of magic in which he is too young to participate. How did Harry get chosen? How can he participate? Well, that’s the mystery of this story’s failry straightforward plot, and an important mystery it is; for when we learn the answers to the above questions, the plot of not only this film but the entire series thickens.

Beyond giving us another beautiful year at Hogwart’s School, Goblet of Fire offers the series best action up to its release–featuring a duel with wands, a chase with a dragon, and enchantment in an enormous hedgemaze. The film also deepens the relationship between Harry and many of his cohorts, including Ron, Nevel, and Hermione. The film alos showcases a wonderful Ballroom sequence, and some of the great effects of fantasy outside of Lord of the Rings. It’s only weakness, to me anyway, is the inclusion of a character named Myrtle who just annoys me to no end.

That being said, Harry Potter and the Goble of Fire gets a very solid 6 from me. It’s another wonderful adventure in a wonderful series.

Ya know, I am stupid sometimes. For some odd reason, I didn’t like Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. I don’t know why. Upon a viewing recently, I realized that not only do I enjoy it; but I really, really like it.

The story once again follows our friends at Hogwart’s School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, as they once again attempt to save the innocent, solve a mystery, and have some fun if they can. This mystery revolves around Harry’s relationship and history with Sirius Black, a man imprisoned for 12 years for murder. New characters are introduced once again, as are more creatures from the world of magic; and they are all wonderful and interesting.

I have to say that I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this film this last time around. It was so danged entertaining, whether we were in class with Professor Snape or watching Quidditch. I think that directoor Alfainso Caurion (I know i butchered that) did an amazing job communicating the complexities of the plot, particularly during the time-jumping segment in the third act. All the characters continue to be endearing, and the world itself has never been more beautiful. After a good-but-not-great second entry, the full magic of Harry’s world has returned and become darker and more complex. I really loved it. I give Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban a solid 6

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets pales in comparison to The Sorcerer’s Stone, but it’s still a good movie. The film returns to Hogwart’s School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, with Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley teaming up to solve a new mystery and avert disaster once again. This time, however, there is an annoying House Elf included for laughs and a few too many conveniences for comfort. It’s still an okay venture, but the charm of the first movie is sadly diminished.

I think my problem with this second venture is that it’s just not that interesting; or rather, the interesting parts are intercut with dull or silly ones. The story surrounds the idea of a terrible threat to Hogwart’s in the form of a monster hidden in the Chamber of Secrets somewhere under the school. The mystery of said Chamber is being solved that beloved trio of heroes; and overall, there’s a solid payoff regarding what is inside it. There’s also a great performance by Kenneth Branaugh as a cowardly wizard celebrity–. another great addition to the ever-growing cast of characters in the Potter series. Also, all the returning characters are wonderful to see once again, with Malfoy, Hagrid, Dumbledore, and Snape becoming particularly more endearing with each entry in the series. Oh, and the screaming mandrake root plants are awesome!. So, there is plenty of good stuff in the flic, plenty of good stuff.

Unfortunately, the downsides of this film are glaring. I didn’t really love the “I placed the essence of myself in my diary” subplot. Dobby the House Elf was just awful (though Harry’s clever way of releasing him is excellent). The turn from friend to foe with the giant spider and his children really didn’t make sense to me eithe; and while the tear of the Phoenix having healing properties is fine, the film doesn’t explain it until its too convenient to accept.

At the end of the day, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is a good film. It has an awful, annoying side character, a few points that I didn’t accept or get; but overall I still think it’s a fine fantasy movie. Harry Potter and the Chamber of secrets gets a 4 from me.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone is to the Potter series what A New Hope was to Star Wars. It’s the magical introductory chapter to what promises to be a spectacular adventure for viewers of all ages, and it deserves every dime it brought its makers.

The Sorcerer’s Stone introduces moviegoers to the world of magic as imagined by J.K. Rowling, and it is a place worth visiting, full of trolls,centaurs, killer plants, enchantments, three-headed dogs, dragons, and even flying broomsticks. It’s a broad world ful of scope and breadth, with details down to the minutea of what kind of feather is contained in a magic wand. It’s also a world of wonderful characters, from the malevolent Draco Malfoy to the encouraging Dumbledoore, from the Mysterious Snape to the ever so lovable Hagrid. Harry’s world is a wondrous place, a place worth escaping to.

The plot surroudning the film is basically an introductory set-up for further events to come, and it plays as an orphan-with-a-hidden-fortune-and-a-destiny-to-match adventure tale, with sports, mystery, action, and humor interwoven into a long but fully cohesive film. Christopher Colomubs of Home Alone fame directs with great restraint, hoing in on the personal story of the characters rather than the grandiose, bombastic world in which they inhabit, allowing the audience to apprecaite both that much more.

While Harry Potter and the Sorecerer’s Stone is by no means one of my favorite films, it is certainly a magical one of great surprises and pleasures, and for that, I give it a 6.

Before I say anything else, I have to concede something. Hard Candy asks audience members to believe something, and I just couldn’t do it. As a result, my enjoyment in the movie was lessened. It’s not that Hard Candy is a bad movie, not in the least. It’s that the premise of the movie asks me to believe something, and I cannot get my mind around it. That’s not the movie’s fault. It’s mine.

Okay, now that that is out of the way. This movie is entertaining and engaging. Had it ended differently and revealed that the premise was a misdirection, I probably would have loved it. Instead, I just respect and appreciate it. The movie was made on a hairstring budget and moves more like a play than a movie. Frankly, the movie is a play. It is written by a playwright and appraoched with the semi-minimalist style of stage plays, showcasing only 5 total characters and two real locations. That’s alot less than most movies, but the direction and editing in this film really transcend these limitations. The film’s look, pacing, and tone make it work onscreen, and I really, really enjoy it. The tension in this movie is so strong you almost squirm yourself into a knot watching it.

I know many people haven’t seen it since it was barely in the theatre and is already off the new release shelf at some Blockbuster’s. The story is a predator-and-prey story about a possible pedophile and his latest victim, a 14 year-old shy and intelligent girl named Haley. The catch: Haley has been stalking her predator and lured him into her trap, and she spends the movie abusing this man while searching for evidence of his guilt. Given this premise, I had a hard time believing some of the very harsh and complicated scenes and elements involved. While I allowed myself to engage the movie, the concept in and of itself had problems. The significant point I could not buy was this: SPOILER WARNING (Highlight text to read) Haley REALLY IS a 14 year-old girl. You won’t get that concretely from the film itself but the behind-the-scenes material affirms that the writer and director fully intended that the Haley character be believed to be a bright and talented 14 year-old girl. Not an older girl posing as a younger one, but a 14 year-old. And I couldn’t buy that. It would have been similar to taking Home Alone seriously, and I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t. The brightest 14 year-old I’ve ever met would not be able to do what this girl does, and I couldn’t accept it..

So, given all that, I am going to give Hard Candy a solid 4. It is good. My lack of buying into it took me out of the film too much to fully enjoy it as much as I would have liked to.

OKay, I’ll committ sacrilege in the church of fanboys. I like Hot Fuzz more than Shaun of the Dead. In fact, Hot Fuzz is almost in the echelon of my all-time favorite movies. Actually you know what, why not. It is one of my new favorite flics off all time, easily the best movie I have seen thus far this year.

This flic is so danged fun and entertaining that I could watch it again today (and I want to), and I’m sure I’d enjoy it just as much as I did yesterday, if not more since I know what is coming. This movie, oh this movie. It’s really just a unique, ultr-fun escapist ride that is better than 90% of the movies to which it pays tribute. The movie never takes itself too seriously (as most buddy cop action movies really shouldn’t), and it always tries to give the audience one more reason to laugh, cringe in disgust, or cheer. In fact, I don’t know of the last time I saw a movie that was so intentional in always giving the audience a reason to stay glued to the screen. This film is just overflowing with humor, action, and thrills.

It’s not just an entertaining movie, however. It’s also incredibly heartfelt and sincere, not so much toward itself but in its love and appreciation for the movies that inspired it. This movie is like a love letter to action movies, revealing some of the faults of the genre with a “We love you for your faults” attitude. I think this allows the movie to really serve as more of an homage picture than a straight spoof, which is great, cause I think its 10 times as entertianing as the best cop spoof I’ve seen and transcend that genre entirely.

On top of all this, their are moments in Hot Fuzz that blew my mind with their ridiculousness. Here’s a a list of a few of my favorites.

1) During a gunfight, one of our heroes is attacked by an old man with a priate rapier, and the result is a BIlly club vs sword fight.
2) An old woman fires at our hero with the shotgun, and he disarms her by jump-kicking her in teh face (a site I never thought I’d see)
3) One of the murders is the most gruesome thing I have seen in a long time, and it’s hilarious as it is cringe inducing all at the same time.
4) There are two homages to Point Break, the first is an amazing set-up and pay-off which I won’t ruin here, but if you’ve seen Point Break, you’ll know it and love it. The second is that, like Point break, this movie has the best foot chases of all time.
5) There is an old man with slurred speech, and whenever the token female officer make s a sexual innuendo, he replies with a single word acknowledgement of the body parts being referenced, adn I almost pizzed myself everytime.

Like I said, I love this movie. It’s one of my new all-time favorites, and I give it a 7. No doubt I will watch it anothe 100 times, and It each time will be better than the last. Hot Fuzz is rated R for violence, gruesome images, profanity, and crass humor.

P.S - For a more objective Analysis of the movie, check out my posted REVIEW at Cinemabun.com

UPDATE: UNDER THE NEW RATING SCALE DELEVOPED 2/16/07, Hook retains a 6.
Grace, Peace, and Thanks to you all. As a sign of my gratitude to all of you, I go to Never-Neverland and bring all the lost boys back to our world. I then dispatch one to each and every mutli-plex in North America, so that every time a cocky teenager makes a stupid comment or begins to text message on his phone during a movie, the lost boy may kill him/her and make the theatre-going experience better for all.

Given that intro, I am sure you already know where this is going. I love Hook. It’s not a perfect movie, but it is a fantastic one. All the performances, from Dustin Hoffman’s amazing Captain hook to Tony Burton’s Cameo as Pirate Bill Jukes are just spot-on and great. Not only does great A-list talent brilliantly fill the roles of some of very well known characters, several young actors bring new characters to life with vibrance and charisma that is rare in child stars. The sets, costume design, and effects were all amazing, and nearly 15 years later, still hold up to scrutiny. They are all engaging, just a joy to watch and absorb. I love the look of this flick and just had a great time see it all. Techinically this movie is astoundingly good.

For those unaware of the Hook story, the movie follows an aged Peter Pan, now Peter Banning, who has forgotten all about Never-Neverland, gotten married, had kids, and become obsessed with work. When Captain James Hook comes to the real world and kidnaps his children, Banning is forced to venture to the fantasy world, rekindle his love of fun, and ultimately re-lead the lost boys ina final confrontation with the infamous Hook and his pirate hordes.

And the story is really the most important thing, and this story really showcases some great moments, themes, and concepts. This film is magical and that should come as no surprise to those familiar with Spielberg’s work. Yeah, there are some cheesy moments, but they are heatfelt and sweet. Overall the film balances all the magic, wonder, the awe, the danger, and more really well. While I don’t think everyone will enjoy this movie, I can honestly say I love it and would expect most kids, both big and small, will too.

Hook gets a very solid 6 out of 7. This movie is a magical adventure for both kids and adults. It’s original and entertaining with familiar characters that are performed wonderfully by great A-list talent, and I highly recommend it!

SONG OF THE POST: “I Believe I Can Fly” by R. Kelly from the Space Jam soundtrack.