What can I even say about The Princess Bride. It’s basically a perfect movie. It has excellent comedy, wonderful heart, and fantastic adventure–not to mention the single greatest duel in the history of swordplay.

The Princess Bride follows two stories, with one being told within another. This in and of itself is something of great interest to me, personally. I find that the “story within a story” device is always a neat way to tell a tale, and I totally dig it. The first story is about a sick young boy who is learning to appreciate the company and taste of his grandfather. The second is the story the grandfather reads the boy, a tale of a princess, a ruthless prince, a true love, a vengeful Spaniard, a giant, shrieking eels, a fire swamp, an albino, a six-fingered man, and the “Cliffs of Insanity”.

The story told by the Grandfather is incredibly imaginative, inventive, and clever with dashing valor, witty characters, and wonderful outcomes. It could have been it’s own movie. Framing it within the story of the boy and his grandfather, however, heightens it–because it not only reinforces (not TELLS but reinforces) what the audience feels and, furthermore, shows the true power of story and narrative to cross generation gaps and unite people. It’s a brilliantly crafted piece of writing from Hollywood master Willaim Goldman (of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid fame), and Rob Reiner’s exceptional direction of his superb cast truly capture the materials clever power. The bottom line is, The Princess Bride is a masterpiece.

This is one of those movies that goes beyond the “best of” stratum of the 6, it is an all out 7. I love The Princess Bride and never tire of watching it. It’s a favorite.

I am a fan of David Fincher. I think he has style and excellent control of tone and pacing, even when the script he’s been given is less then amazing. In fact, Panic room is one of those movies that, without him, probably would have been terribly lame–we’re talking B-movie straight to DVD lame. Fincher’s use of lighting, tone, and terror carry the movie much more than the story ever could.

The story, for those unaware, is of a recently divorced woman and her daughter, who move into a new home that contains a “panic room”–a sort of human safe wherein the owners can lock themselves in the event of home invasion. Of course, the night they move in, burglars arrive looking for three million dollars. It’s cat and mouse for the rest of the films, with the upper hand constantly changing from one side to the other.

Yeah, it doesn’t sound amazing on paper. I get that. However, it is entertaining. The performances from Jodie Foster, Forrest Whitaker, Dwight Yocum, and Jared Leto are excellent–even the young actress doesn’t bring the movie down in terms of acting. Also, the dialogue is good, for the most part. I also dug the visuals. The only contention is that script is incredibly limited in its goal (to center the movie around the “Panic Room”). The story wants to be confined, almost more like a play than a movie–and I don’t really like that; but it makes sense since the story is about–ta-da, confinement.

So, that being said, Panic Room is getting a 4 from me. It’s good. Not great or alright, but good. The performance, style, tone, and dialogue are all good–but they can’t save the mediocre story.

Despite a solid third act, Pitch Black is a pretty mediocre outing into sci-fi fare. Granted, it’s heavy stylization is interesting to see, but the novelty of oversaturated film and color filters gets pretty dull by around minute 17 of the film’s running time. I certainly wouldn’t say that it’s a style that allows the movie to transcend it’s dull plot, poor characterizations, and lack of tension. I know alot fo people really loved this film–enough for Universal pictures to spend $100 million dollars on its even less interesting sequel–but frankly, this flic doesn’t do it for me, which is surprising given my affinitiy for the Deltoids of Vin Diesel.

Frankly, I just felt the movie failed to be what it could and should have been–that is until it gets some legs in the third act. For the first two thirds, the film is mired in dull, unconvincing exploration and revelation, with less the impending doom than M&Ms melting in your hand instead of your mouth. It’s not only the pacing and tone that’s off, but the characters and their actions, their reactions, and the overall approach of using style to mask the movie’s dull and plodding structure. The deaths are telgraphed from a mile away (less one which I won’t spoil), and the overall tone is more about “Man, this badass is a badass” than “Man, those creatures are gonna ruin everyone.”

Maybe this was the director’s intention; and if so, more power to him, Riddick, the badass in question, is a rough-looking dude with some real charisma. Too bad he’s surrounded by unintereting troglodytes–and just to be clear, I am referring to the characters, not the alien beasts who are confined to the shadows. Thankfully, there are always enough surprisingly convenient occurrences and discoveries to warrant the escape of a few of these troubled travelers.

Man, You know what, I really don’t like this movie much at all. When you put Diesel in a movie, all you need to do is make him a mute who punches things in the face…to bad this different offer that. You know, I’m really surprised by this, but Pitch Black is getting a 2 from me. I woulda thoght a three was coming, but after considering what I’ve written…man, 2 all the way.

The Proposition is like the perfect robbery gone wrong. It’s a film of great promise and a wealth of entertainment that is dull, uninspired, boring, and overall about as interesting as watching dogs walk through the desert under the hot, beating sun. Sorry to those of you who enjoyed it. This movie just didn’t do it for me, not in the least, on any level.

The story has a fantastic premise. The Burns brothers are a trio wild bandits of the Australian Outback who are involved in the rape and murder of a peac-loving family of settlers. Due to the heinous nature of the crime, the disgusted middle brother takes his younger brother (who has mental deficiencies) and leaves the gang. When he and his brother are caught by the authorities, however; the middle brother is forced by the policeto catch his older brother in order to save his younger brother from the gallows. Sound promising, right? Yeah. It does, and the movie doesn’t do much more than set that up. In fact, once the first scene ends, the movie gets less and less interesting until the final credits roll, at which point I was about as satisfied as a guy who’s planning to watch Terminator II but find himself instead stuck watching The View, with Rosie O’Donnell at center frame. Yeah, it was that disappointing for me.

I think my disappoint stems from a false expectation I had going into the film, however. I thought I was going to see the middle brother taking names and busting heads while tracking his brother across the open plain. Instead the middle brother drinks, stumbles, finds his brother, and they watch the sun set. Couple this with domestic drama for the Lawman and his wife, played by the barely attractive Emily Watson, and I was bored to the point of apologies to my dear wife, who had taken the time to watch the film with me.

I give The Proposition a 2. I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t see anything in it worth noting, and frankly, it lost a 3 because it completely and totally failed, in my opinion, to cash in on an amazing premise.

EDITOR’s NOTE: Apparently critics ate this up and thought it was all manner of subtle genuis. Well, I guess that could be true, and that’s fine. Maybe my standarads are jsut too high, after all, I gave Roadhouse a 7.

I saw this movie nearly two months, and I’ve been putting off the review like a derelict. It’s a funny thing about The Prestige. It is a magic trick. A good trick, but a trick. At least that’s the way I feel about it. To be fair, The Prestige really hooked me and kept me interested and surprised me throughout the enitre movie. In fact, the days after initially seeing it, I was wrestling with it constantly (whihc is the sing of agood film). I was thinkin about it, trying to figure it out. Seeing where I missed the clues and why I never saw it coming when I did. So, I enjoyed it, and it stayed with me. But with time, the smoke and mirrors really faded, which is sad. That’s to say it’s less of a movie, but like a viewer of a magic show, I have become less shocked and awed by the experience, now seeing it as “a nice trick” and not so much a fantastic flic.

The movie follows rival magicians as they engage in a continual competition of one-upmanship. They come to one another’s shows and ruin each other’s tricks. They are subversive and dangerous and downright appauling, each allowing his obsession to lead him to become a monster. It’s terribly sad, but also engaging, watching two talented person’s disintegrate into vengeful children. When the ending finallly comes, it’s difficult to understand who is the hero, and who is the villain. Really it’s a stoory of tragedy of obsession more than good guys and bad guys.

Credit is due to ll the cast and Chris Nolan, the director. The film that has been put together is good one–not a personal favorite, but a good movie nontheless. I would have liked their staying away from the magic of science” angle, for it detracted from the overalll story (again, in my opinion) and took from what could have been an amazing period tragedy to a solid pulp sci-fi story, which again is fine, just not the best thing I’ve ever seen. It just seemed silly to me to go the route they did when it was unnecessary. But to each his own. The average person probably thought that was a good idea, and that’s cool.

I am giving The Prestige a very solid 4. It is a good movie, and I enjoyed it, but I don’t see a need to see it again, for I id not buy into the whole “magic of science” angle.

Now, I may step on some toes, but well, that happens. Here’s the deal. I didn’t love Peter Pan. In fact, now that I think about it, the Pan himself is a bit of a jerk, and I would have hated him had I been one of the lost boys. Why others like him so much is beyond me, I truly don’t understand. In fact, he’s the least likable person in the movie.

So, if I don’t like the title character in the movie, what is there to like. Well, alot acutally. The music is beautiful. It’s classic Disney, and it’s as timeless as it is dated. If nothing else, the movie was worth the watch for the music. But even more importantly for this flic was the animation. The animation in this flic was tremendous. Disney’s work from this era is always stellar, and Pan truly exemplifies that. I totally dug the animation up and down. The characters surrounding Pan have some very enjoyable aspects and qualities as well. The Darling children bear a special innocence and charisma that is very endearing, and Captain Hook is a lovable bad guy. I understand why they have all become such a beloved staple of the Disneyverse.

Unfortunately, the production and the few likable characters in the flic cannot overshadow the bullying punka that is Peter Pan himself. He is just too much of a jerk for me to get behind him as a hero or character. So, that being the case, I have to give this flic a 3. It’s alright. In fact, the production values are out of site, on the way to a seven, but that blasted Pan just brings it down. I’m looking forward to the next old Disney flic I get to see; I just hope it’s better than this one.

I really enjoyed Pirates of the Carribean: At World’s End. It is long. It is difficult to follow. It is bloated with overly long scenes and nonessentail special effects. There are parts I didn’t get. Other parts I got, but I didn’t like. I would have liked a few more action pieces, and I could have done with a little less crazy-schizo Jack Sparrow. Overall however, I really enjoyed this movie, and I think it’s a great continuation of Dead Man’s Chest, and an fine closing chapter in this first Pirates trilogy.

This is not to say everyone will agree with me, and they don’t have to. You know what, maybe they shouldn’t. This is not a great movie. In fact, I cannot remember the last time I had to WORK this hard at a movie just to understand the basic storyline. This movie is chock full of double-crosses, selfish goals, painful revelations, and the like, constantly piling upon one another until the film could become nearly unwatchable. Keeping a beat on all of these things, let alone how they intertwine, is exceeedingly difficult, particularly becuase this is a swashbuckler-matinee-serial type of movie that should not be difficult to follow. No offense to the writers, but I don’t think this type of movie is the kind that warrants the complexity this movie has; and I, as a filmgoer, did not want to work as hard as I did. Granted, I chose to go to the movie, but my expectation was for a much more straightforward film than the one I saw.

Now, given the fact that I had to work at this movie, I felt very rewarded by the story once I put it all together. There are still a few points about which I am unsure, and I am really looking forward to seeing the film again to fill in the blanks. That won’t be everyone’s experience, and it doesn’t have to be. It is mine, however, and I fully embrace it. This movie is one I have to work through to understand, and I am okay with that. I enjoy the characters enough to invest the mental energies into this, and I have a heightened enjoyment to the film as a result, so I like it.

Oh, and if nothing else, the final battle of this movie between The Black Peal and The Flying Dutchman is fantastic. It is a mind-blowing, spectacular effects-opera full of great moments, constant action, and that wonderful magic of cinema that draws you right into the middle of an event to the point that you feel a part of it. It’s amazing!

I am giivng Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End a solid 5. It is on par with the other Pirate films; adn now that I get it (for the most part), I foresee becoming part of my regular pass-the-time film rotation.

So, this is the second time I saw Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. The first time I saw it, I hated it. HATED it. But, when it comes to enjoying movies, I am more than willing to have my mind changed about a bad experience and give a movie a second viewing to redeem itself. That is exactly how it happened for me with this flic.

I really don’t care for Pirates: The Curse of the Black Pearl. I have tried to watch it about 4 times, and I can’t sit through it. Maybe it’s just me. The second film, however, I really dig after this last viewing. The first time I watched it, I had high expectations; the trailer looked awesome–Kracken and such. It’s failure to meet those expectation I set ultimately caused me to dislike the movie. When I came to it this second time, however, I had low expectations, and I was blown away–not only by the visual effects, which are amazing, but also by the story as well.

For me, this flic really solidified the heroism of Will Turner, the bastardism of Jack Sparrow, and the beauty of the Caribbean. Man, do I want to go there. The movie is only the first part of a larger two-part story, but can still be enjoyed on its own merits, which include loads of humor, plenty of swordplay, some great visual effects, beautiful scenic views, and an interesting continuation of likable characters. With the exception of Jack Sparrow, I actually liked all the characters more in this one than the last one. I really dig the new guys brought into the mix as well. Davy Jones and his crew are some fantastic pirates; and Beckett is an excellent uber-villain. I’ll probably try watching the first one again after this.

Tomorrow, my meview of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest will go up; and in it, I will say that I have tried to watch Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl several times and dont’ like it. I wrote that review prior to this one, and I didn’t want to alter it, BUT it’s no longer accurate! It’s all finally changed; for in preparation for At World’s End, I watched POTC: TCOTBP, and I really enjoyed it. Despite the horrible “You like pain? Try wearing a corset” line and the dragging feeling of them going to the same cave twice, I finally came to a place where I enjoyed this first Pirates.

The film is essentially the same movie as Star Wars: A New Hope with a few changes. A plucky young hero, Will Turner (Luke Skywalker), teams up with pirate captain Jack Sparrow (Han Solo) to rescue Elizabeth Swann (Princess Leia), the governor’s daughter with whom Will is in love. There are some major differences, but the hero + Antihero rescuing damsel from a larger number of villains, is straight up A New Hope. I think my understanding of this initially caused me to dislike the movie before, but now it helps me to appreciate it. This format for an action-adventure is very entertaining, and I enjoy the way Pirates does it.

I really don’t have much else to say. I love the attack on Port Royal by the pirates, I love when Jack and Elizabeth are stranded, and I love the ending. I really missed out the first few times I saw this, but the zombie/ghost pirates are fun and memorable, and this is really a great action-adventure matinee.

So, here’s the deal, I am fully recanting on my hatred of the first twoPirates movies (check out the meview for Dead Man’s Chest tomorrow); at this point, I totally enjoy them, and I think they make for great adventure flics for kids of all ages. I am giving Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl a very, very solid 5.

UPDATE: UNDER THE NEW RATING SCALE DELEVOPED 2/16/07, Pan’s Labrynth receives a 4.

Grace, Peace, and Thanks to you all. In order to help you cope with your normal lives, I come to your bedroom in the form of a small lizard in hopes of leading you to a land of awe and wonder. Many of you, however, believe that I am a simple reptillian nuisance and either toss me from your window, flush me down the toilet, or beat me to death with a broom…in hindsight, I should have taken the form of something much scarier.

Well, Last night, my wife and I saw Pan’s Labrynth. Frankly, I wanted to give myself a few solid hours to think about it before putting up this review, and I still don’t completely know what I think. I am enjoying the process of deciding how I feel abotu it, however, so that’s a good sign. Before I get into actual critique of the film, let me just put something out there. Pan’s Labrynth is not for everyone, especially children. The film is very dark and horrific, despite the film’s message of hope and courage. Also, leave any assumptions at the door. I only assumed one thing going in, and I was wrong; and I think that affected my overall outlook on the picture.

For those who have not heard of this film, it’s been an import of some buzz from writer, director, and producer Guillermo Del Toro, known primarily for his work Hellboy and Blade II. What Life is Beautiful was to Italian film, I feel Pan’s is to Mexican Cinema. The film follows a young girl named Ofelia, as she attempts to cope with the horrors of the Second World War by undertaking a quest to become princess of the underworld. Now, is not an Alice in Wonderland or Wizard of Oz rip-off. Quite the contrary, much of the character’s from the underworld appear in the real world, and only when young Ofelia has a task to test her courage does she go to any type of other-worldly place. Much of the movie, perhaps a solid 80% of it, is spent in the real world with real monsters from whom Ofelia must keep her secret adventures.

Del Toro has some fascinting concepts in the film, and I am sure a real grasp of how deep and well-structured it is will require repeat viewings. There is awe and wonder contrasted with horror and fear, both in the real world and the fantastic one, making the two parellel and, in essence, the same. Del Toro seems to have a really strong grasp on the psyche of children and understands the steps he must take as a storyteller in order for the audience to accept Ofelia’s journey. The visual effects in this film, especially for being a 17 million import, are ridiculously impressive. Two of Pan’s creatures in particular, a Faun and a Baby-eater, are two of the most believable and visually compelling creatures I have seen onscreen since the original Jabba the Hut or the original Yoda. Even if you hate the story, you will still be blown away by these two achievements in visual creativity and technology. At times, Del Toro goes unnecessarily overboard with violence and lingers on some things while we are mosre interested in others, but these qualms are hardly large enough to detract from the movie’s overall quality.

All that being said, Pan’s Labrynth, gets a very solid 5 out 7. It’s not perfect, but it is excellent. This is that rare type of movie that draws you in and makes you a believer while also forcing you to constantly think–which makes it both engrossing and inaccessible at the same time. It is an interesting and enjoyable spectacle, and I recommend it with reservation. Be open-minded but also ready to engage the movie and connect with it, working alongside the characters as the story unfolds. Pan’s Labrynth is rated “R” for graphic violence, Horrific images, and profanity. It is presented in Spanish with English Subtitles.

SONG OF THE POST: “Dreamweaver” by Gary Wright, from the Wayne’s World soundtrack.