Spinal Tap is Rob Rieber’s legendary mock-rockumentary about fictional British rock sensation, Spinal Tap. Over the years, Tap has become one of the biggest cult hits of all time; and even today, it holds up as a clever comedy.

I don’t love This is Spinal tap, but I really like it. I love documentaries, and this fictional one has all the trimmings of reality, and it masters the genre to its maximum potential, creating a brilliant blend of the surreal so odd and intriguing, you’d almost buy into the whole thing. Sure, the movie has far too many then-unknown actors who you can identify in moments, but the overall aesthetic, feel, and tone of the film is as real as any documentary you’ll ever see. What’s most intriguing about this is that the reason for this feeling is the film’s “honest” look at the band. It treats them like a real band, showing them at their best and their worst, like honest documentaries do. Of course, none of it’s honest, it’s all a joke, and it’s a funny one at that.

The humor in tTap is nonstop and minute-by-minute. Seriously, this is a truly comedians comedy, with jokes constantly hitting you from every angle, only ot be paid off by other jokes immediately thereafter. It’s a lot of fun, and frankly, I can only see it getting better with each subsequent viewing.

I’m gonna give This is Spinal Tap a very solid 5. It’s a stellar comedy, and I totally dig it.

The Truman Show is a movie about a lot things. It’s about man’s relationship to God, if there is a God. It’s about man’s relationship to his environment. It’s about man’s relationship to reality. It’s about man’s relationship with other men. It’s really a movie about man and his existence.

The lens through which these many ideas and concepts are explored is that of a man named Truman Burbank, being the unwitting star of a TV show that takes place in a world built for him, around him, and for his benefit. At least that’s what Christof, the show’s creator and current director, thinks as he and his crew do everything to keep Truman unaware of the situation around him. As his world continues to show signs of imperfection, in the form of predictability and order, no less, Truman becomes unhinged and seeks to leave the world built for him.

Those who recognize the parallel to the Biblical tale of the Garden of Eve will be interested to find that the movie takes an alternate approach to the material. The fact is, as far as this movie is concerned, the individual’s pursuit of truth and experiential knowledge is the key to existence, and any hindrance of his experiences is unfavorable. At least that’s one interpretation of the flic.

Another may simply be that the media and technology continues to invade the individual’s privacy to the point that our lives are now simply peep shows for those around us. We, as human beings, are becoming ever more the victim of Big Brother surveillance, unrelenting advertisitng, and manipulation. We are all, in a way, Truman; and as technology continues to grow it will become more and more difficult for us to escape its broad reach into every aspect of our lives, from our home to our relationships. But again, this is just another possible interpretation.

Yet another could be simply that the venere of our seemingly normal world is nothing but a lie, a constant masquerade to keep us from the truth. What that truth is may be different for each individual, but the importance is to understand that the environment we inhabit–our homes, jobs, relationships, friends–are all false, a facade to keep us from whatever truth is beyond our normal existence. This truth can ultimately be found, despite the grandiose facade which surrounds us. That is a way you could look at it.

Of course, you could also see it simply as a commentary on the media in general, and how we are becoming so desensatized that total exploitation of a human life is merely another show to entertain us. As if we’ve come to make zoo animals of our fellow human beings, just to give ourselves some needed catharsis in a consumer-laden society wherein we have lost site of true value and life.

Now, here’s the rub. The above interpretations may all be accurate. None of them may be accurate, but all of them are valid. They are valid in the sense that one could watch the film, make a case for each interpretation and carry that meaning with them. That’s what makes The Truman Show such an excellent piece of work. It is a movie of ideas and concepts, a movie which seems to be saying a great deal about the existence of an individual on a variety of cosmic levels. It’s one of those movies that should stimulate discussion well beyond asking “did you like it?” as you walk out of the theatre.

The Truman Show is a full movie. It’s more than just a story, and there’s a wide range of messages one could glean from it. That makes for POWERFUL cinema. I am going to give The Truman Show a well-deserved 6. Not an all-time favorite, but certainly an all-time great.

Terminator 2 was the first R-Rated film I saw as a boy. It was a film of great action, great characters, and amazing special effects. It was a perfect introduction to the sci-fi-action subgenre, and it set a fantastic standard for all films of the smae type that I saw after it, with only the cream of the crop really winning me over. Watching it again, probably for the 15-16th time, I can honestly say that Terminator 2: Judgement Day has lost none of its potency or power. It remains, perhaps, my favorite movie of its type.

In arguably his most iconic role, Arnold Schwartzneggar plays the T-800 model terminator, designed to be a mechanized assassin. This time, instead of fighting against a rogue human from the future; he is battling another terminator, T-1000, a highly advanced prototype utilizing liquid metal construction. This machine, played with calculated perfection by a young Robert Patrick, has come back in time to kill John Connor, future leader of the human resistance.

I really cannot praise this film enough, and I don’t even know where to start. Arnold with a minigun destroying cars without killing a single person. The first gunfight between the two termintors. The chase sequence in the trenches of the South Bay Area. The escape from the insane Asylum. The quotes. The attempted assassination of Miles Dyson (my personal favorite part of the film). It’s hard to really get into details I love about this movie without writing a term paper. The film boasts the greatest special effects up until its time in cinema, features wonderful characters interacting in believable and highly entertaining ways, and serves up some of the best action setpieces put to celluloid. It’s really just brilliant. The use of time travel and its results are dealt with wonderfully, and the direction is about as perfect as one can want in not just this kind of film but any film. It’s very humble in its constant service of the story over pretentious self-indulgence. Between this and Aliens, James Cameron is arguably the greatest action director of all time.

I cannot talk about my sincere adoration of this film enough; and therefore, Terminator 2: Judgement Day receives my highest rating–a very solid 7

True Lies is a blend homage and satire that makes for a fun, if not ridiculous, time at the movies. Much to director James Cameron’s credit, he has made an exemplery action film while also refusing to take it seriously, balancing the over-the-top action that moviegoers expect with the self-assured comedy needed to let the audience know that it’s all in good fun.

Arnold Shwartzneggar stars as Harry Tasker, a secret agent whose identity is hidden from his family and believes his wife is having an affair. After solving that mystery, however, he and his wife are roped into a plot by terrorists and he has save his family and the United States. I don’t want to really get into detail here, for there are a great many surprises to be seen in the film, and I certianly don’t want to ruin that for you all if you haven’t seen the flick.

There is some overt sexuality, lots of violence, and some language; but overall it’s good fun at the cinema. There’s alot of very memorable, hilarious scenes of both action and comedy, and I am hard pressed of any scenes or sequences that sucked or dragged. There was some stuff that I didn’t particularly like, but I think I can chalk that up to my personal taste more than the movie’s fault.

That being said, I give True Lies a solid 5. It’s a fun time.

Okay, say what you will about the 80s. Criticize the fashion. Laugh at the hair. Do whatever you feel you need to do to feel more cool or erudite. Fact is, sci-fi action movies arguably reached their height in the 80s.Predator, Aliens, Robocop, and Terminator all came from this era, and they are all fantastic. Of them all, I’d be hard-pressed to pick a favorite, but Terminator would definitely be a strong contender. This movie is awesome. It’s just awesome. I love the action, the plot, the music, and the direction. All of it. It’s proof that sci-fi films can be not only genre motion pictures, but GREAT motion pictures.

Terminator follows the story of a machine from the future which comes to the past to pre-empatively kill his enemy before he is even born. How? By killing his mother, a seemingly helpless waitress named Sarah Connor. Luckily, the machine’s enemy was able to send back a protector to keep his mother safe. When the machine and the protector meet, it’s mayhem in the streets. Car Chases, Gun fights, Massacres, Crashes, Explosions–it’s war, my friends; and it is danged entertaining. From the initial conflict in Technoir to the finale at the factory, the movie is pretty much nonstep excellent action and peril, with the only lulls serving as excellent character moments.

And this is the biggest strength in Terminator. It’s not just a great action movie, it’s a great movie. It’s structured incredibly well, with reveals coming at the perfect intervals and both the action sequences and character moments played very well. Unlike some directors which can only do one or the other, Cameron shows here (as he did with Aliens) that he is adept at both the subtlety of character exploration and the bombastic pacing of good action. This film is really a great example of these talents, and it is really just a great motion picture. I wholly enjoy this movie and fully think it’s one of the greatest sci-fi action films of all time. The Terminator gets a 7 from me, hands down. I love it from start to finish.

Tombstone is one of those flics that I don’t necessarily agree with on a Theological and Moral level; but dang it, it still entertains me every time I sit and watch it. Maybe I shouldn’t. I don’t know. There are plenty of movie’s I’ve seen that I’ve rejected for lesser sins, but something in Tombstone just keeps me coming back.

The movie follows a legendary account of the final law enforcement years of Wyatt Earp. The events of the film begin long after Earp’s time in Dodge City and continue past his last fabled ride. Earp, played wonderfully by super-cool star Kurt Ruseel is aided by best firned Doc Holiday, played by Val Kilmer in an Oscar-worthy performance. They fight “the Cowboys”, a gang of outlaws notorously reputed as the first exampl of organized crime in America. These bandits are portrayed in part by Thomas Hayden Chruch, Powers Boothe, and Michael Biehn. Dana Delaney, Sam Elliot, Charlton Heston, Bill Paxton, BIlly Zane, and Jason Priestley also serve in supporting roles.

Why I give Tombstone a pass when it is (a) obviously historically inaccurate, (b) blatantly anti-religious, and (c) overtly encouraging in regard to adultery, I’ll never know. Maybe it’s the awesome slew of likable actors, maybe it’s the actions, maybe it’s one of the few Westerns that has more pace than a turtly moving across the open plain. WHo knows? I certainly could not pinpoint the reasoning behind it. All I can say is that I dig Tombstone each and every time I watch it. It’s just the way it is. I think it’s just one of those action flics that I can’t dislike, no matter how hard I try. Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe it isn’t.

Tombstone gets a 4 from me. I am aware of my personal disagreements with it, so it’s definitely not clocking in above a 4, but it’s certainly better than the movie’s I give a 3 to.

Okay. I’ve been looking forward to Transformers for a while, and I was set up for disappointment. First, because of unscrupulous reviewers and my own failure to stop reading reviews, I already knew that one of the Transformers would bite it. Second, I had Fandangoed movie times, but when I got to the theatre, I was told the times I had were wrong, so I was unable to see the film in IMAX as I had desired. Third, the girl who sold me the tickets looked like a snaggletooth ratwhore; and she was copping attitude with me the whole time I was asking her about the times. Fourth, I was told by an employee that the theatre had digital projection (for picture clarity), but it didn’t. It only had Digital sound, and I could see tears in the film from the first trailers. Overall, I felt lied to, decieved, mistreated, and I was upset.

Then the movie began, and a helicopter transformed into a robot, and the robot shot up everything. So, I was getting happy again. Then, we had some okay comedy with an awkward teen and his father. Then there was some stuff with the Department of Defense, signal interpretation, and some more awkward teen stuff and family humor. Then a giant robotic scorpion Monster attacks soldiers, and I was sold, lost in the universe of the movie. The film continues by introducing us to the heroic Autobots and their quest to protect earth from the tyranny of Megatron, an alien invader. The movie moves at a solid pace, building momentum til all the plotlines finally intersect. The third act is backloaded with non-stop, constant action full of robot destruction, awesome combat, and great chase sequences. By the end, the heroes win, though there are sacrifices; and the world is safe…for now.

That being said, the film was great. I loved it. I am an apologist for director Michael Ba , and I was quite happy with the overall shot selection and techinal approach to the film. Yes, some of the moments didn’t quite work, but the package as a whole was fantastic. From great effects to affective humor, Transformers is a consistently good time at the movies. I felt that all the robots were perfect, with their battles being some of the best I’ve seen this year. I know some people didn’t like the reconnaisance robot, Frenzy; but I thought he was fine. The only thing I didn’t dig was John Tutouro (I know I speeled that wrong). I really hated him as a character, but maybe I was supposed to, so I give him a pass in light of all the surrounding goodness.

All that adds up to me giving Transformers a very solid 6 out of 7. As of now, I wouldn’t say it’s an all-time favorite, but it is a fun time at the movies, and I am really looking forward to my next viewing of it.

First and foremost, I gotta write about one thing. I love fights on rooftops. Rooftops add a mystique to the location (cause not everyone hangs on roofs) and a danger to the action because it is similar to a ring; however, if you fall out of the ring, you fall to your death. Rooftop fights are the best. I also love fights in the rain. The rain serves as another opponent in the fight. It makes the clothes soaked and heavy. Its cold. It makes things slippery. Fights in the rain are awesome! I also love fights between heroes because usually you know they aren’t going to kill each other, but they are going to brawl hard, usually resulting in a team-up that will conquer all villainy. Fights between heroes tend to be awesome. Well, in TMNT, there is a fight that combines ALL of these ELEEMENTS. It is my favorite scene in all CG movies, probably one of my top ten fights ever. This scene is so awesome. It’s on a rooftop, in the rain, between brothers—whose contention has been evident and building for years and years, nay, a decade in my mind. This is one of those epic fights that I have wanted to see my entire life! Even if the rest of the movie was garbage (which it wasn’t), even if the rest of the visuals were terrible (which they weren’t), even if everything else of and or relating to the Ninja Turtles sucked, the scene wherein RAPHAEL and LEONARDO fight is one of my favorite fights ever.

So what about the rest of the movie? I dug it. The movie is very, very different than I expected. The overall tone is dark, much more like the original Ninja Turtles movie as opposed to say, the Secret of the Ooze. The action is rough and tumble, which is cool; and the legend behind the villain and his quest are interesting and unique. The story apparently takes place following the fall of the foot clan (either post Secret of the Ooze or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III) and really centers on the turtles after their arch-nemesis’ defeat. They are bored and barely afloat, and they want the pace of action and adventure back in their life, which is awesome because many of us who were fans back in the 80s are in a place at our life where the action and adventure are gone and we have settled down. So, we can relate to this. So, it’s cool for those of us who used to love the turtles as children yaears ago, but it is light enough for kids to enjoy. I was in a theatre with tons of kids, and they laughed the whole movie. Which is nice.

Overall, I give TMNT a solid, solid 5. The great rooftop on the rain makes it a definiteive 4, but the rest of the movie was good enough to bring it up to a 5– that fight…dang. TMNT is rated PG for Violence and an amazing rooftop fight that is so good, it would make a baby’s brain explode because an undeveloped cranium could not understand the fight’s power!

SONG OF THE POST: “T.U.R.T.L.E. Power, by Partners in Kryme, from the original Ninja Turtles Soundtrack album

UPDATE: UNDER THE NEW RATING SCALE DELEVOPED 2/16/07, Transformers: The Movie receives a 7.
Grace and Peace and thanks also, to you. Dear Readers, I come to you today as a freak of nature, even moreso than usual. I have attempted to make myself into a transforming entity; and in doing so, have become a mass of flesh and machinery. I ask you, as my supporters, to put me down and bury me among the ashes of Dr. Moreau’s fabled beasts.

Okay, first and foremost, this is a movie will that separate audiences into 3 categories. You’ll either hate it or love it or not care. As a toy enthuiast who never followed the Transformers growing up, I LOVED IT. Now, this doens’t mean it’ll get a high rating from me, as I feel I am approaching the movie from a very specific background which allowed me to understand and enjoy it in spite of itself. This will become my animated version of Roadhouse. It’s another moderately bad movie that just clicked with me, and I will vehemently defend until I die.

The premise behind the Transfomers is a simple one. There are robots from another world who came to earth, take the form of vehicles into which they can “transform” to camouflage themselves into our world while waging war against one another. The heroic warriors are referred to as Autobots, and the villainous machines are called Decepticons. The film is a chaotic, fast-paced, and insane rock opera that follows the Autobots as they fight not only a new breed of Decepticons but also a moon-eating monster-robot called Unicron, which devours worlds and also becomes an enormous robot. Imgaine if in Star Wars, the Death Star transformed into a huge super battle droid that was so large it would plant its feet into the planet surface of Coruscant while conducting a space battle with X-wing fighters. That’s the concept behind Unicron and the film’s final battle, and it may be my favorite sci-fi concept since lightsabers or the Stargate.

The movie has glaring weaknesses that will make adults cringe. It’s very battle heavy with little or no prior explanation. There are far too many characters to identify and recognize over the course of the film; and for those without prior knowledge of them, this could easily be a dealbreaker. The story is cool but kinda silly and seems very called-in (much like the one to G.I. Joe: The Movie, another animated feature based primarily on a toy line). Overall, the complexities of the story and events within are also glazed over and simplified so as to maintain that Kid-friendly feel with moral lessons about inner strength and sacrafice, etc. Again, however, for big kids who take the movie as it is, it can be a good and solid ride.

Transformers gets a moderate 3 out of 7. I was leaning toward a 4, but I always round down when I’m unsure. It is a fair movie in terms of its action, plot development, pace, art, and (if you can believe it) character development. The sheer number of characters and gaps one must fill with prior knowledge of the transformers really keeps this from standing on it own as a film for the masses. While die-hards may hate the fact that so many of their favorites are disintegrated before the film ends, casual and open-minded viewers most likely will be intrigued by the high body count and unpredictable carnage for an eighties carton. Transformers is rated “PG” for cartoon violence and a single use of profanity.

PS - The scene in which Starscream and the healthy Decepticons throw the damaged ones out their ship’s airlock and into space, only to then battle one another for control of the evil forces IS one of my top 50 movie moments of all time. It’s perhaps one of the funniest and most honest moments I have ever seen among villains in a cartoon.

SONG OF THE POST: “Transformer” by Gnarls Barkley, from the album St. Elsewhere.