Hi all,

Real quick post here. The first trailer for the 22nd James Bond film, Quantum of Solace, has hit the web. It looks sensational, and I invite you all to go HERE to check it out!

I stumbled on this clip this morning, and I have decided to share it with all of you. It’s confirmation from Brendan Fraser that he appears in the upcoming crapfest known as G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, the looks-worse-with-every-new-bit-of-info adaptation of one of my all-time favorite properties. Anyway, the video is fantastic thanks to Fraser’s adept ability to cordially answer questions he is not allowed to. I admire him a great deal for his polite tact. Check it.

A week ago, in the recent G.I. Joe Looks Awful post, two commenters stated that the costumes looked strangely reminiscent of Universal’s mid-1990s video-game-adaptation, Street Fighter. Could the G.I. Joe movie be a latent sequel to that universally loatehd film??? No. Not directly. However, it is interesting to note that it may in fact be a “Indirect sequel” in that it will share many similarities to the mid-90’s film and could actually serve as this decade’s Street Fighter in terms of fan backlash, underperformance, and overall legacy as a “Guilty pleasure” film by those that enjoy it. Here’s a top 7 reasons why:

1) G.I. Joe like Street Fighter is an adaptation of a beloved, popular property full of interesting and unique characters.

2) Both films will follow a military team vs. a maniacal terrorist and his colorful henchmen.

3) Both films involve arms dealers: G.I. Joe has Destro, the Street Fighter film had Criminal underlord Victor Sagat.

4) Both films have costumes that look less than stellar…

5) Both films seem geared for the PG-13 “please everybody including fans and non-fans, alike” demographic.

6) Both films appear to involve old scores that will be settled in mano-a-mano combat (Street Fighter had like 4 of these, G.I. Joe has at least Storm Shadow vs. Snake Eyes)

7) Both films are taking extreme licenses with the original properties for seemingly no reason (in Street Fighter, the T-Hawk character who is really an enormous Mexican brawler in the game, is a pasty popsicle-stick of a military man with a headband. in G.i. Joe Ripcord is a black dude in “Ripped off The Dark Knight” body armor while the original character is a redhead in a loose green jumpsuit).

Ripcord Movie vs. Ripcord Figure/Comic

Now, for me this creates a terrible problem because…I LOVE Street Fighter. It’s a movie from my youth that continues to be a guilty pleasure on my movie shelf. I have a great time watching it. I love it in its ludicrous C-level production; and (for some odd reason that plagues me daily) I cannot get enough of it…so does this mean I may also love G.I. Joe? Could G.I. Joe be MY next Street Fighter –the next awful film that I embrace unabashedly despite itself… in the words of my good friend, Christopher Charles Chandler, “I don’t know, guys”.

See pics for proof….

Are you kidding me? These outfits don’t look bad for just a G.I. Joe movie, they look like crap, regardless. Even if this movie was called “Adrenaline Force” or “Adventure Squad”, these outfits would still look terrible. I have thought this movie would be awful since the beginning, and it’s only getting worse and worse…and worse.

Hawk and Cover Girl

Storm Shadow and Baroness

Duke and Ripcord

Snake Eyes and Scarlett

Hi All, Here’s an awesome link for you!

This August a new Star Wars animated “movie” (which is really just 4 TV episodes combined) is coming to theaters, and at the link below, you can catch the leaked trailer for the film. I saw it, got excited, and wanted to share it with you–but Lucasfilm apparently has been stingy and is trying to pull the video everywhere it can…so, I cannot guarantee the video is still up, BUT if it is, you are in for a treat!

Clone Wars Trailer

Grace, Peace, and Thanks friends for visiting the stage again!!! Today I go to down to the river, and I bathe their. Please don’t try to find me, I’m self-conscious about my body.

Well, for anyone into flicks. GO TO THIS address RIGHT NOW. It’s the online video archive of Siskel & Ebert, and it’s awesome. I started my day by watching reviews of ROADHOUSE and POINT BREAK, two of my all-time favorite pictures, and I foresee myself jumping through more reviews throughout the day as well as linking to some in future meviews. I used to watch these two go back and forth all the time in the 90s, and I can’t wait to revisit this show again!!!!!!

Check it out!

Grace, Peace, and Thanks to you. It is my hope that you are not bitten by anything radioactive that gives you special powers, for life is hazardous and stressful enough WITHOUT having great power that comes with great responsibility.

BUT I am glad that Peter Parker found himself in that scenario, because the Spider-man movies are awesome! I love the these movies, particularly the first act of Spider-man 1 and the train fight from Spider-man 2. Spider-man 3 shows alot of promise, particularly with the Venom sequences. We’ve not seen Spider-man fight a villain with powers similar to his own, and I am hoping Raimi cashes-in on that with some hot stuff. Plus, I totally dig Topher Grace as an actor and personality. He’s charismatic and has been self-effacing, so I trust he’ll imbue Venom with some insane crazisness. Sandman looks okay. He’s never been one of my favorite villains, and I think the attempt at making him “the real killer of Ben Parker” is a stretch. I get why they did it, but that doesn’t make it right. Frankly, I think they should done like the cartoon from the 90s and given us some Shocker action(oh, the sexual innuendo is priceless), since Shocker looks awesome and shoots beams of high voltage, which I think are much more frightening than mounds of sand. But forget my opinion, they’ll make a better movie than I could any day of the week. Anyway, I am looking forward to this flic, and I’ll toss up a meview by Monday for it.

Also, to answer eveyone’s question, “Yes, I have already purchased my official Spider-man Movie Action figure of the wall-crawling hero in black costume, and it is nice.

SONG OF THE POST: “Spider-man theme” sung by anyone, anytime, anywhere.

Grace, Peace, and Thanks my friends. I come to you with the decapitated head of your greatest enemy, and I hope that you will invite me into your home…so that I can avoid the police, as they are hot on my trail.

300 at 58%

We’ve been tracking 300 for some time at Stunk’s Stage; and this week, as the fit-hits-the-shan and reviews come out of the woodwork from a variety of sources, 300 has gotten more negative feedback than I would have expected. In fact, I’m getting a little pensive. At first, The Associated Press were the only ones to piss in my cereal; but as more reviews are coming to light, from The Village Voice, Slant Magazine, and more, I am feeling that this is a flic that might not be all I have been expecting.

Then again, when do I ever agree with anyone on anything? The Village Voice? Slant? I’m not going to these publications regularly for validation or analysis. Frankly, I don’t read either. So, you know what. WHATEVER. WHAT-THE-BOOMSTICK-EVER! Do these publications love The Warriors, Roadhouse, Point Break, Star Trek: First Contact, or UHF???? Do they enjoy Stevie Wonder, Sade, Rob Dougan, Robyn Thicke, Clapton, Corinne Bailey Rae, Genesis and Gnarls barkley all in the same day? Do they love J. Scott Campbell’s Danger Girl Comic? I don’t know, and I don’t care. I read their full reviews, and they basically both say the same thing, “The direct comic doesn’t translate well to film; this is gay, and Sin City was better.” Okay, that’s fine. Am I going to 300 for a deep cathartic experience about my life or sexuality. I am not going for the epic storytelling. I am going in order to see men fight. That’s it. If they fight, and I enjoy it, easy 4 out of 7. We get some good story in there, okay, there’s a 5. Forget my ‘pensive’ thoughts. I am excited to boot! Bam!

Grace, Peace, and Thanks to you all. I bring you prime rib, cooked to perfection over a flame, a flame created by the burning corpses of our enemies. Despite this grotesque display of barbarism, the meat is still exellent.

300 at 89%

Well, we had a good run at 100% over at Rotten Tomatoes, but we have received the first negative review of the highly-anticpated film 300. From Ebert? No. From Roeper? No. From Entertainment Weekly or Premiere? No. From the Associated Press. Yes, that’s right, The Associated Press. So, I wouldn’t be overly distruaght over this. Real, actual publications–namely the two trades, The Hollywood Reporter and Variety–have raved about this flic and are very encouraging about not only its style but substance. This being said, be of good faith, my good friends. In order to remind you why we should still be encouraged over how good this will be, I have embedded a youtube video for your pleasure
below!!!

GRACE, PEACE, THANKS, AND GITFS To you. What? Gifts. Yes, gifts. Watch the video below, and you will see what I mean.