Okay, heads up. It’s time to call it as I see it. I’ve watched alot of movies this last year, and something is really beginning to bother me to no end. I am getting really sick of movies featuring female actresses who can’t act, but get parts becuase they are pretty. I’m sorry, but unless you’re making a porno, the attractiveness of a woman should have little to know bearing on casting a flic. Sure, you don’t want to cast Rosie O’donell or Female Sasquatch as the fairy princess, but that doesn’t mean you need Jessica Simpson either (Granted, I haven’t seen her in any movies, but that’s what trailers are for, to warn us.)

Look, I’m not saying that I don’t appreciate beauty on screen. I’m a man. I do. Sue me. But I’m married to a beautiful woman, I don’t need to look at a TV Screen to feel good in my bathing suit place. So, how about less eye candy and more acting. I’d rather see a movie with a female that’s a 6 but who I believe as a character, than seeing a movie with a character who is an arguable 10 but who makes me want to shoot myself with a nailgun every time she talks.

The most heinous crime of this nature is Barry Sonenfeld’s Men in Black, wherein the senusual Linda Fiorentino complete removed me from the movie every time she spoke. Luckily, the charismatic Will Smith was usually there to bail her out; but everytime I watch that movie, and Tommy Lee Jones is being Excellent, and I’m so happy, and I just want to cry with joy at the wonderful time I’m having, she utters the line, “Hey you guys aren’t from the department of health are you?” and my skin melts off of my face with anguish (yes, like Raiders of the Lost Ark). Her performance in that movie is that bad. That’s nothing against her personally, I hear she is awesome in alot of other things, but I refuse to believe there weren’t at least 50 other, just as sensuous women up for her role in Men in Black

Granted, there may have been some background politics to her being hired, who knows in Hollywood. But I am still taking my stance. NOW, READ THIS. I C.J. STUNKARD, would rather have a less attractive, stellar actress in a film, knocking the role out of the park than have a bombshell remove me from the movie’s world every time I hear her speak. If you can get a beautiful woman who can also turn in a four star performance everytime she’s onscreen (say, Laura Linney or Catherine Zeta-Jones), more power to you. But I am really tired of sacrificing the believeability in the story for a nice-looking cardboard performance.

And here’s the rub with my little qualm. If you give the audience, myself included, a well-rounded, female character, even if she’s a 6 out of 10, we dudes will usually fall in love with her (in a harmless way). Seriosuly, if I am watching a movie with a well-rounded female character, the actress usually becomes FAR MORE attractive to me over the course of the movie. Examples of this are the woman who played Eowyn in Lord of the Rings, Sandra Bullock in Speed, and Renee Zellwegger in Jerry Maguire. These attractive women may not be dynamite “10″ pin-ups by Hollywood standards, but danged if they didn’t melt my heart like butter on popcorn (mmmm… delcicious). Anybody backing me up on this? Or am I alone, here?

SONG OF THE POST: “Girl on TV” by LFO, from their self-titled debut album.

Grace, Peace, and Thanks to you, dear friends and relatives. While writing this, I am reminded of many things, but none so excellent as good times had with all of you.

Okay, I need some help. This past weekend, I was at a brunch, and I was posed with the question of how much I, CJ STunkard, am willing to pay for a CD album. I said around $7-$8. The counter question was posed, “What about $9.99? Would you everpay $9.99 for a CD?”, to which I replied, “Well, maybe for something awesome, like Thriller.” Laughter came from those sitting around me. Some of it was in heartfelt agreement and respect. Some in mockery. Then someone behind me said, “Thriller? What?”. A brief pause was then followed by the same individual saying, “Yeah, that’s not good music, guy.” It took all of my self-control and discipline not to begin making sport of the mocker, so I just sat in silence. But after thinking about it, I am curious as to if I should have verbally drop-kicked him.

How feel you?

This was my first meeting with this dude, and he has the gaul to publically mock my taste, which in regards to this album has been affirmed by review-after-review for 20 years, and the long standing sales are also worth nothing. I mean, I understand people thinking it’s absurd I put Roadhouse on my top ten favorite films of all time; but when it comes to music, I think I am safe in assuming Thriller is a good standard for establishing a given price point in MY own spending. And that’s just it. THAT is the problem. I used Thriller as an example of MY personal standard for the level of musical accomplishment at which I WOULD PAY a given sum of money. I didn’t say it should be everyone’s standard. I didn’t even say everyone should have standards. I just that, at a given price point, I would only pay for certain albums, Thriller being one of them: and this guy felt he had the right to openly comment on it in a forum wherein HIS tastes WOULD NOT affect MINE or MY STANDARDS in any way. To me, this came across as not only rude given that it was aour first meeting; but also irrelevant and desperate for validation and attention (much like this blog is for me).

I know this is the stupidest thing to get worked up about, but I pose this question to you, dear readers. Friends. Should I have retaliated in turn and made a fool of this individual or did I do the right thing, accept the slight, give him the final word and stay silent?

THE SONG OF THIS POST: FROM THE ALBUM THRILLER IS “P.Y.T.”.