Friends, there are many toys I want in my life, and below are 7 I may at some point actually be able to get!!!! They are not in any order of priority!

1. Lord of the Ring’s Cave Troll
This toy absolutely rules, and I once had him but sold him to pay for living expenses after graduating from college. I yearn for him to return to my collection. He usually rocks it for $30 on ebay, so it shouldn’t be a problem regaining him with Christmas or birthday money at some point. If you are into trolls from Lord of the Rings, check out this awesome wikipedia article.

2. Micro Machine Star Wars Armada
I used to love Star Wars Micro Machines as a kid, but as I aged, I foolishly got rid of them, feeling they were too small to enjoy. Oh, How wrong I was. These beautiful, tiny replicas of some of Star Wars’ greatest ships are fantastic, and they usually run $1-2, making an armada relatively affordable!!! You can see loads of Micro Machines, both from Star Wars and other properties at the Micro Machines Museum

3. “Stan” Eminem
This figure’s fantastic, and he captures the likeness of an individual I believe was one of the best wordsmiths of the last 10 years. Nothing much more to say other than I respect Eminem, and I dig this figure.

4. Shaun of the Dead Winchester Two-Pack
Shaun of the Dead was one of the best Zombie movies ever, and this 2-figure set captured the mayhem and humor through the film’s two central protagonists, Shaun and Ed. I totally dig this set, particularly the gruesome Shaun (The Ed I could take or leave), and I really want it!

5. Exosquad JT Marsh and Phaeton
Loads of Exosquad pics are available at Check out an Exo-Squad Toy Database Here
In my humble opinion, the Exo-Squad cartoon and Toys are the highlight of the toy-toon-tie-ins of the 1990s (arguably tied with the original, Batman: The Animated Series). No other cartoon at that time carried the weight and drama of Exo-squad (again, less Batman, arguably), and I can recall NO U.S. toy from that early-90s era that featured this level of playability AND detail (again, the argument can be made against this). The show totally jumped the shark in the second half of the second season and sucked up through the finale, but the first half of the series is just outstanding, as are these truly amazing toys. J.T. Marsh and Phaeton were the main central characters, so at some point, I’d like to pick them up (as well as others, if i can find them on the cheap).

6. Jinx
You may remember this G.I. joe Ninja from the Stunkpod, wherein Dean counted down his Top ten, and she was his number one. I thought I had her as well, but I do not. She’s usually $15 on ebay, and I have to pick her up–she’s the last “rawhide” I need from G.I. Joe the Movie, so I hope to get her soon to complete that set!

7. Master Shake
After a few denizens from The Simpsons, Master Shake may be the funniest animated character of all time. he is cruel, foul, selish, arrogant, and hilarious; and I need this figure on my shelve, if only to bring me happiness in times of woe. I totally and completely love this figure, and I think I can eventually land him!

Well, like all people, I dream. But unlike most people, I dream of toys. I dream of collectibles far above my paygrade, and I look upon them as unattainable trophies. Below are the top 7 items (in no particular order, less number 1) that I’ve seen that make me say, “WOW, THAT is PHENOMENAL. HOW CAN I GET IT?” Then upon looking at the price tag, I realize, “there is no way.” Keep dreaming. So I do. BElow, check out the Top 7 Toys I’ll Always Want and Never Own

7. Lego Death Star - This enormous and amazing lego replica of the hailed home of villainy from Return of the Jedi is amazing, and I do long for it often. It’s an spectacular piece, and to own it would be crazy. If I did own it, I would require myself to purchase loads of Micro Machine X-wings, TIE Fighters, A-Wings, TIE Interceptors, and Y-Wings, to fight around it. At $300, I would either have to win the lottery or slay a golden moose to get it.

6. Lego Millenium Falcon - This is the only complete Millenium Falcon fullyin-scale with the figures it includes, and it is a sight to behold. In fact, this may be Lego’s most awe-inspiring piece to date. The ship is huge, beautiful, and a piece to fulfill the dreams of fanboys of all ages. It’s just one of those pieces that makes you realize how cool toys can be. This piece is about $500, I believe; and it’s more likely that they choose me to play Lando Calrissian in a Star Wars re-make than for me to see this beautiful ship in my own home.

5. Doom Premium Format Figure - The reasoning behind this figure is two-fold. First, it’s an amazing, mixed-media statue from Sideshow Collectibles that features real metal parts, PLUS real cloth goods, and a stellar pose that just captures the mindful planning of Doom. Second, this piece would be fantastic as a Statue that a 6″ Doom would have built of himself (similar to Saddam in Iraq). Picture this display. This premium format Doom, with a 6″ Doom standing either on its shoulder or on a podium in front of it, with a dozen doombots in front of it. It’d be crazy awesome.
4. Stealth Iron Man Maquette - Beyond a shadow of a doubt, this is the greatest item from Sideshow collectibles that I have seen in person. This statue is absolutely fantastic,and I beleive that upon first seeing it–I did, in fact, piss my own pants. Luckily, my body temperature had reached magma-like proportions due to my excitement, adn the piss evaporated before staining my pants. It’s an amazing piece of 3D comic art, with light up features, and I am certain it serves as a centerpiece in the many collections it is in.
(Both of the above pieces clocked in over $300, whcih now means they probably run about $450 on the secondary market. Either way, it’ll never happen for me.)

3. The Cobra Terrordrome - I had this amazing, Cobra base as a child, but I had to get rid of it due to space in my parent’s attic and my own stupidity. Looking back at my own life, getting rid of this base may be one of the top seven stupidest things I could have possibly ever done. I loved this base. It was an amazing playset, and I am certain I will never see it in my own home again. To have it again would be an amazing addition to not only my collection but my very life, for it would be the remedying of a poor life choice made by me as a child. Looking back, I would have much rather had this and slept on a bail of hay than had to have gotten rid of it for a queen sized bed. Damned be my impetuous youth. I don’t know how much it would cost to replace this toy…probably a million bucks, maybe a billion. If I owed Kuwait, I could probably get it again; but in my current life I just don’t see it happening.

2. NECA’s Lord of the Rings Balrog - Above you will see the powerful, 18″ monster from the fabled halls of dwarven lands. It is the Balrog of Fire, and he will burn your village to the ground. i want him to burn G.I. Joes and knights aplenty. I long for him, but at a minimum $80 bucks, that ain’t bloody likely.

1. BETA RAY BILL’S FABLED URU HAMMER, STORMBREAKER. So, here’s the bottom line. I could never afford to BUY Stormbreaker because it cost $300. But, let’s say I could. Let’s say I had millions of dollars and a whole warehouse in which to keep my beloved toys…well, even then I could not buy it. Let’s say that Santa Clause or a magical Egyptian genie came to me and said “Make a wish for the one collectible you want most, and to you it will be given.” I could not ask for it…
See, the reason Stormbreaker is my number one most wanted collectible that I will always want and never own is that Stormbreaker, whether real or in prop replica form, is an URU HAMMER, forged by dwarves and bequeathed only to those who are worthy. One cannot ask for an Uru Hammer. It is like asking for knighthood. That being said, because I am a man of morals, I could never purchase Stormbreaker for myself. It would be gesture of unspeakable pride and vulgarity–not unlike buying the Stanley Cup and having one’s name placed on it or buying an Academy Award and presenitng it to oneself in front of those more deserving. Stormbreaker is a reward, a gift, only given to those who are worthy. So, not only could I never purchase it of my own accord; but in order to possess it, I would need someone else to believe me worthy and bestow the fabled hammer upon me as a reward for my valor…and that, my friends, that, will never happen. In fact, by the very writing of this article, I have made myself unworthy of the gift, and were it given to me, I would not know what to do…

Today marks the one-year anniversary of the stage!

Grab a beer, some wheat thins, and some cheddar, and celebrate by watching one of the following films:

The Stage’s Top 7 Movie to watch in Celebration of the Stage
7) Jackie Brown
6) Desperado
5) Batman Begins
4) Austin Powers
3) Toy Story
2) Army of Darkness
1) Roadhouse

Song of the Post: “Celebration” by Kanye West, from the album, Late Registration

In honor of Christmas day, here’s my top 7 Christmas jams for this year:

1) “Carol of the Bells” performed by David Foster
2) “O Holy Night” performed by pretty much anybody
3) “I’ll be Home For Christmas” performed by Amy Grant on the album, Home For Christmas
4) “Emmanuel/O Little Town” Medley performed by Amy Grant on Tennessee Christmas
5) “Grown-up Christmas List” performed by Amy Grant on the album, Home For Christmas
6a) TIE “Breath of Heaven” performed by Amy Grant on the album, Home For Christmas
6b) “Mary Did You Know” performed by Clay Aiken on Merry Christmas with Love
7) “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” performed by Amy Grant on the album, Home For Christmas.

*Non-Christmas, honorable holiday Mention - “What are You Doing New Year’s Eve”, performed by either Clay Aiken (for you pop fans) or Diana Krall (for jazz aficionados) and “Believe” performed by Josh Groban on The Polar Express soundtrack.

Songs of the Post See above!!!!!!! Merry Christmas!!!!!!!

So, friends. It’s true. All this time, I thought it was a lie, but it was not. I am a derelict. No posts for two days after months of day-to-day meviews and updates…I’m lazy, and I apologize.

So, today, I was listening to my favorite podcast from Doug Nagy once said, “you like what you like, and you should never have to apologize for it.” I hold to that mantra like John 3:16. However, we live in a world wherein people feel their personal opinion constitutes objective fact; and as a result, many people spend time invalidating the opinion’s of others in order to more validate their own. They say, “Well, you have bad taste because you like this, but I have good taste because I like this.” Sorry, that’s horseshit–sorry to swear, but that’s the only word to fully describe it. I mean, even movies that 99% of people think are excellent, some people think are pretentious crap; and some movies that few if any people think are “good” objectively, alot people enjoy.

Anyway, that’s my take. The only reason “Guilty pleasures” exist is because people have the potential to be assholes and attempt to invalidate other’s opinions in order to make themselves feel smarter or cooler. Whatever. I say, like what you like; and if someone gives you crap, then tell them to go drown themselves in a river. However, lists are fun, so I figured, I’d take a minute to give movies that some people would say are “Guilty Pleasures”, but I would say just rock my socks off like a hurricane. So, here ya go. If you think these movies are awful, and I shouldn’t even think about possibly liking them–well, there are rivers everywhere, find one, do the world a favor, and drown yourself.

TOP 7 So-called “GUILTY PLEASURES” for the Stage

ROAD HOUSE
POINT BREAK
YOU GOT SERVED
ROCKY V
DAREDEVIL
STREET FIGHTER (Yes, the Van Damme one)
RAPID FIRE

Got your own movies that people give you crap about? Use the stage to speak your mind and let your voice be heard. Leave a comment, and I will salute you!

Grace and Peace to one and all. Be of good cheer and drink a beer as a symbol of your love for Rock.

Now, my good freind Chandler, who is arguably Aerosmith’s greatest fan, may or may not appreciate this list. In fact, he may fly out here and burn my face with hot vegetable oil if I’m not careful. At least I didn’t include “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing”, apparently the band’s most known song, which wasn’t even written by them. In fact, I’m not trying to say these are Aerosmith’s BEST songs. They are just my favorite ones. So, I am putting this out there for everyone. It’s just my opinion. Hopefully, that’s okay.

(1) “Dream On” - Okay, I’m going out on a limb. Other than “Kashmir”, “Black Dog”, and “Immigrant Song” by Zepellin, “Dream On” is, in my opinion, the best Rock N’ Roll epic of all time. Yes, I think it’s better than anything by Queen, AC/DC or any other band not mentioned above. “Dream on” is awesome. It’s braod, epic, powerful, and moving, and it’s not only a great song, it’s easily one of my favorites.
(2) “Cryin” - Not unlike “Dream On”, “Cryin” is a great piece of rock music. I don’t know if I’d consider it a power ballad. Maybe. Steve Tyler belts the lyrics like his life depends on it, and it’s good stuff.
(3) “Crazy” - To be honest, I used to get “Crazy”‘ and “Cryin” mixed up. They have a fairly similar sound, and they are both good. That being said, if “Cryin” is on the list, “Crazy’ must be as well.
(4) “Fly Away From Here” - I know this is new Aerosmith and becuase of that, some people will hate it because Rock is dead and all that vogue stuff people say. Well, whatever. This is a powerful song about grabbing your lover (or at least a hot hook up) and heading toward the future together, riding on a moving melody. It’s a trip I like taking.
(5) “Jaded” - coming off the same album as “Fly Away”, “Jaded” is another one of those songs that purists will hate by virtue of the time in history is written, but I still think it’s a fun song. Tyler, as a vocalist, carries this song. His performance is just solid as stone. I dig it.
(6) “My Fist your Face” - I should not have this on the list. It’s from the most notoriously disliked album Done With Mirrors, adn it’s not even that great of a song. HOWEVER, it is also entitled, “MY FIST YOUR FACE”, which is excellent, and it’s not a bad song in and of itself. It’s got melody and frankly, it’s a good time for a rcok fan’s ears.
(7) “Rag Doll” - This is just a fun song.

So there they are, my top 7 favorite Songs by Aerosmith. Flame me for it!

Well, lists are fun. So here’s another one.

Top 7 X-Men Characters

[i.e. If I was assembly my favorite X-team, it’d include…]

1 - Cyclops (Leader) - Look, I’ll be very honest. The reason I love Cyclops is because as a child who wore glasses, I completely identified with this character forced to wear a goofy visor. On top of that, Cyclops was also Mr. by-the-book, whihc is who I was up until my twenties. Cyclops was the C.J. Stunkard of the Marvel Universe, and I am a big supporter of him.

2 - Bishop (Field Commander) - Bishop is awesome. He’s a time travelling warrior trying to save the future by altering the catastrophe’s of the past. Awesome.

3 - Beast (The Brain/Brawn Combo) Beast is not only the world reknowned scientist of the X-men, but he is also acrobatic and tough and nails. He’s amazing.

4 - Rogue (The Lady)Rogue has that sultry accent and she’s strong and fun. Great. Also, she has that allure of the forbidden since she cannot have human contact. Hot. Great and Hot. She’s in. (Editor’s Note: Rogue is not “hot” in the movies, however).

5 - Wolverine (The Loner)Rough and tumble rebel of the team with some healing factor and take no prisoners adamantium rage.

6 - Colussus (Metal Skin)Yeah, this guy has skin which can become Armor. A+ Awesome. Plus, If I have Wolverine, I gotta Have Colossus. Fastball Special, sucka!! (that’s the move where Colossus Throws Wolverine).

7 - Gambit (Mr. Cool) Gambit charges playing cards (cool) into projectile weapons (cool), and he uses a Bo staff (cool). Let’s not forget that he also wears a trenchcoat (cool). Done and Done.

To accompany the meview of Transformers, I’ve decided to do a list of my favorite moments from the film, currently my second favorite flic of the year.

1). Starscream vs. Jet Fighters. Starscream blends in with a group of Jet Fighters and then transforms and sneak-attacks them, shooting them and kicking them into buildings. It’s awesome!

2). Jazz vs. Megatron.. Jazz is my favorite Transformer, and he is also the smallest Transformer in the film (other than, Frenzy, the Re-con Decepticon). That being said, when he challenged Megatron to a one-on-one battle, it was the best. The fight only lasted about 30 seconds, and Jazz lost badly; BUT it showed that he was a truly courageous warrior. Good work, Jazz.

3). Bonecrusher vs. Optimus Prime. This fight is crazy, with Bonecrusher and Optimus falling off of a highway (probably about 150 feet), then Optimus pulls a sword, and–well, let’s just say that it’s awesome.

4). Megatron flies through a building, while Optimus hangs on. This is one of those aciton moments I would have loved to see but never would have imagined on my own. Kudos to Bay and Co. for thinking up the excellent moment.

5). Scorponok’s first attack. The Scorpion-esque decepticon stabs soldiers, burrows out of the sand, and basically reaks havoc. Excellent.

6). Bumblebee plays “Drive” by the Cars. This was the first time Bumble spoke with the radio; and frankly, I thought it was the best. Love the song. Love the context. Love the moment.

7). Starscream’s arrival. Once Starscream locates Megatron, he goes to the place he is being kept and just starts firing missiles all over the place. He just shoots at everything and goes nuts. Fantastic.

Do you have your own favorite moments? Hit up some comments.

I did a post a long while back about losing wieght. I initially began keeping a work-out diary, but due to life circumstances, I fell behind and never caught up. I should start it up again, for keeping a record of progress for myself if nothing else. All that being said, I’m still working on losing weight and will update that in August if I met my goal (which I didn’t). I’ve been working out with my wife lately, and I’ve basically rotating about 12 exercises. Here’s my top 7 exercises for now. I realize they may not be the Best exercises, but they are still good.

1) The Push-up:
Oh yes, this exercise has been a staple of not only now, but my life. I’m trying to get a few hundred of these in a week, and it’s been good. Plus, different difference focus on different muscle groups, which is nice for variation.
2). The Crunch:
Ab work. Nothing more needed.
3). 125 meter Dash:
Oh the sprint. It’s most a excellent way to make one hat his or her own body but also builds excellent muscle for explosive bursts of action. I like to insert the sprints in a jog, and I go use the 125-meter guage in order to ensure I run hard for the full standard 100 meter plus I go beyond it. Good stuff.
4). Jogging:
It’s great. It does require some time to be beneficial; but it’s good for you.
5). The Pull-up/Chin-Up:
Similar to the push-up in its variation possibilites, this exercise has been a staple of mankind for as long as tree branches have been on earth. This exercise is usually recommended for any upper body workout system and pretty tough to get started on as well, which is a good sign it’s gonna build you up.
6). Swimmies/Backbends
These are great exercises for one’s lower back, which is arguably the most abused part of the body due to poor posture and sedentary lifestyle. NOTE: Swimmies are not “swimming”in water; they are an exercises wherein one lies on the ground and does Wimming-esque motions focused on the lower back and buttocks. Oh yes!
7). The Dip:
This is just fun.

An honorable mention goes to Swimming because I just like being in water. My Wife and I haven’t been able to get into a pool to do laps and stuff, but I hear that swimming works your entire body, which is great; adn it’s a workout I’d love to put into rotation.

Grace, Peace, and Thanks to each and every one of you. I call you on the phone with a survey and ask of you, “What are your favorite toys?”…However, you don’t recognize my voice; and believing I am a telemarketer, you hang up the phone. I would have done the same, so we’re still friends.

(1) Koto Mace Windu and Yoda set - My wife picked this up for me for Christmas this year. I totally didn’t expect it; and when I got it, I was so surpirsed and excited. This is the only truly “High-End” model/figure set in my collection, and I truly feel it is a centerpiece of it. I love it.

(2) Sin City Marv - Marv from Sin City…this may be NECA’s best figure to date. This toy is awesome. The detail, the articulation, the acessories, and more and more. Yeah, he may not have all the joints people want, but for me, his pose is epic and statuesque that I’d never want to sit him down. This toy is so good!

(3) Die Cast Vader - My Wife bought me this figure as a Birthday Present, and I adore it. It’s Di-Cast Metal body make it appear to be wearing Actual Armor, and the display case is really great!!! If I had only one Star Wars Figure in the 3 3/4 scale, this would be it!!!

(4) Sigma Six Heavy Duty - The Sigma Six Figures from Hasbro are just fantastic. The articulation, the stylized look, the weapons–Bada-Bing I love these figures!!!!! Anyway, Heavy Duty was a huge, beefy African American with a chain gun, and he was the first of these figures I purchased, and to be honest, he is still my favorite! I love this figure!

(5) Sentinel - Yeah, I had to buy 6 other figures to get this one and put him together, but I sold them all, bringin his cost down to $20, adn he was worth every penny. This ultra detailed, massively articulated giant robot. What else could I possibly want…

(6) Armored Attack Troll - I didn’t love the Toy Biz offerings from Lord of the Rings, but they did no wrong in the Troll department. Their cave trolls are so fun; and this one, which is just a big rotocast monster with a club and removable helmet, is a perfect repesentation of the film counterpart. The only other thing I might have liked is for it to include a sword, but that is a personal desire, not a necessity. Again, another awesome figure!

(7) MAC Angel - Okay, this is a cop-out. I felt at least one Buffy/Angel figure in the mix of my top 7 figures because, next to Star Wars, the Buffyverse is the biggest collection of figures I have. I added a few extras to the figure, including interchangeable limbs and weapons, so he can a battle damaged vamp, or attacking vamp, or just Angel himself. HE’s a great iconic version of the figure, and I dig him!